Jumper. A tiny spider of the Phidippus Variegatus Salticidae, the most handsome and sophisticated of the spider clans, who became Dor's valiant companion while he was in the Castle Roogna Tapestry searching for Zombie Master Jonathan. Jumper was rather beautiful in spider terms, though he could be considered formidable in appearance. His fur was green, with variegations of black, grey, and white on his abdomen that form the face of a smiling bearded man. Because of the size magic which put Dor into the Tapestry, Jumper appeared to be eight feet high instead of his usual quarter-inch height. He was also of great intelligence, and his wisdom guided Dor through many dangers. He knew how to balloon with silk, a talent some but not all spiders have.

 

Justin Tree: A man of the North Village transformed into a tree by Evil Magician Trent before his exile. His talent was ventriloquism, so he still has a voice. As a tree, Justin's leaves resemble flattened

human hands, its sap is blood red, and its bark is the color of a deep tan. When Trent returned, he offered to change Justin back, but Justin preferred to remain a tree.

 

Knock-Kneed Knights: These empty suits of armor control the fertile pastures under the fields of the cowboys. In exchange for the sacrifice of the finest young bullocks and heifers every year, the Knights allow the cowfolk to graze in the nether pastures. They consider themselves to be creatures of  chivalry, allowing the young cowfolk to try and defeat their Knight Tourney Champion in the  labyrinth during the Running of the Gauntlet, but none ever do defeat him, because it is not a fair fight. The Knight has an armored horse, a sword and a lance, and the cowboys are forced to fight empty-handed and on foot. The Knights' armor is empty, for without honor, they are nothing at all.

 

Knotweed: An elf of the tribe of Flower Elves who goes armed with a knotted rope.

Komodo li Zard

 

Komodo li Zard: Guest at Chex's wedding, prince of the Isles of Indon Esia.

 

Lathe: An elf of the Tool Tribe.

 

Latia: A homely old woman of the Curse Fiends who is so ugly and so talented with stage makeup that she is able to best an ogress by using her face to curdle water instead of milk. She accompanied Esk to the Vale of the Vole. Her talent is flawed: one out of every three curses she throws turns out to be a blessing instead, probably because she is a good person.

 

Leonardo the Lion-Tamer. Huge lion that tames other animals (including humans), tiger lilies and dande-lions, with a whip and hoop.

 

Lily: A woman of the Gap Village.

 

Liza: A woman of the South Village whose talent is embroidery. She is the finest liar in the stockade.

 

Lyman: A man of the South Village. His talent is twosight, which is only half as accurate as foresight. Half of his predictions come true.

 

Mae: One of the maenads of Mt. Parnassus. A wild woman who didn't fit because she doesn't like blood. She became a priestess of the oracle. Her eyes glow like candle flames when she is excited.

 

Magistrate: Curse Fiend official.

 

Maiden: A pretty girl who comes to the Good Magician's castle for advice about love.

 

Mallet: An elf of the Tool Tribe.

 

Manticora: A monster whom Bink met at the castle of Good Magician Humfrey while serving a year for the Answer to his Question. The Manticora is the size of a horse with the head of a man, the body and mane of a lion, wings of a dragon, tail of a scorpion, three rows of iron teeth one inside the other, and a surprisingly beautiful musical voice.

 

Marbles: Rock hound belonging to Alister. Mare Frigoris: A night mare, after whom the Sea of Cold on the moon is named. She is a 300-year veteran. She testified at Grace'l's trial.

 

Marrow Bones: Walking skeleton who was lost on a path in the gourd. Originally used to frighten sleepers in dreams, he got lost. Like all magic skeletons, he can disassemble his bones and reassemble them in assorted useful configurations. He was chosen by Dolph as his Adult Companion on his Quest.

 

Max: Man of the South Village, the local animal doctor. His talent is his lantern jaw.

 

Mela Merwoman: Full name Melantha. Captor of Prince Dolph. She resembles a mermaid, but lives in salt water and is more voluptuous. She has no panties (fewmermaids do).

Jewel the Nymph's Jewels

 

Mermaid: One of twenty lovesick mermaids in the dream realm, in a scene to love a misogynist to death.

 

Merwin Merman: Mela's dead husband. He had a difference with a dragon and got toasted at point-blank range.

 

Meto Nymy: Juror with attributes, at Grace'l's trial.

 

Metria: Rude demoness who wanted to take over Esk's comfortable hidey-hole. She has trouble remembering the specific colloquialism for what she wants to say.

 

Mike: A Mundane or barbarian (the distinction is moot) warrior, with the standard huge thews, whose body Dor inhabits when he visits the past of 800 years gone via the Tapestry.

 

Mitchell: One of Trent's Mundane soldiers, who settled down in the Gap Village.

 

The Monster Under the Bed: A creature made up entirely of large, hairy hands that lives on dust mice and must remain in shadow, for sunlight kills it. It grabs for the tender ankles of children, but is otherwise completely harmless. Adults can't see them. They travel only at night. They feel insecure when in the open. See also Snortimer, Zomonster, Handicraft (Handy) and Grabraham.

 

Moola: Cowchild, whose talent is speaking the humanoid language.

 

Monster of the Sea: Huge creature that hunts off the east coast of Xanth, finding damsels in distress to liberate. Flexible pink snout, bulging nostrils, cauliflower ears, bloodshot saucers for eyes, huge flippers, serpentine tail, scaly skin, and wide blubbery body, it eats only plankton. Many thousands of years old, it rescued Andromeda from the rocks only to be wounded and then slandered by Perseus,

who wanted credit for saving her.

 

Nabob: King of the Naga serpent-folk. His head is human, his body serpentine.

 

Nada: Princess of the Naga, Prince Dolph's betrothed, by advice of the Good Magician Humfrey who  told the naga "Marry what Draco brings." She can assume either human or serpent form in addition to her natural one, and is cute in all three. Dolph loves her but she can't love him because she is five years older than he is. Nada is a close friend of Ivy's.

 

Naldo: Prince of the Naga, Nada's big brother. Charming and handsome in all forms: human, snake, or naga.

 

Numbo: Boy of the North Village, whose talent is the hotseat.

 

Oleander Elf: Leader of the tribe of Flower Elves.

 

Onda: A voluptuous young woman of the South Village, who has red hair and blue eyes. Her talent is the map she can manifest on the back of her hand.

 

Onoma Topoeia: Juror at Grace'l's trial who looks the way she sounds.

 

Ortant: An Imp, Quieta's father, whom Smash rescued from an alligator clip. He may be addressed as Imp Ortant.

 

Oxy Moron: Juror at Grace'l's trial; a stupidly clever ox.

 

Peek: Ghost mare who was in the service of the Knock-Kneed Knights, as a knightmare.

 

Perrin Piranha: Chivalrous guardian of Draco's nest.

 

Black Pete

 

Black Pete: Proprietor of Thieves' Isle, not to be trusted unless one has an excellent memory.

 

Pook the Ghost Horse. Friend and companion of Jordan the Barbarian. Hung with chains, he is solid part of the time and insubstantial the rest of the time.

 

Potipher: A youth of the North Village whose talent is creating a cloud of poison gas.

 

Princess: Originally supposed to eat a bit of apple she carried with her, and sleep for a thousand years until a handsome young prince kissed her awake so she could marry him and live happily ever after,  but she was foiled by Murphy's curse and had to settle for King Roogna. Electra bit the apple instead.

 

Puck: Ghost foal of Pook and Peek.

 

PygMalion: A pig who is a talented sculptor. He carved an ivory statue of Galatea, with whom he is in love. He is a juror at Grace'l's trial.

 

Querca: Hamadryad of one of the oldest oak trees in Xanth. She runs the Crooked BRanch, where the plane tree grove lies.

 

Quieta the Imp: A tiny person who makes tinier magic mirrors from the film of soap bubbles.

 

Ringmaster. His real name is Bailey. He is in charge of everything under the Big Top. He is made of clanking metal rings stacked up to make limbs, fingers, toes, head, and torso. His brother, Barnum, is also a ringman. They own the Big Top.

 

Sabrina: Bink's former girlfriend. Her talent is singing holographs into existence. She is devious and not particularly faithful. (She was ready to father her unborn baby on Crombie to trap him into  marriage, but he found out about it first.)

 

Salmonella: Grey's fifth girlfriend. She's a great cook, but the food is contaminated.

 

Screwdriver: An elf of the Tool Tribe.

 

Sea Hag: This wicked old woman crafted the Ivory Tower from the tusks of innocent sea creatures. Her talent is eternal life, which she gets by taking over a new body when the one she occupies dies. She is a ghost only a few hours before beginning a new life. The Hag can only occupy a body that allows her to enter, and she can cloud minds to make one allow it. She is limited by the knowledge and intelligence of her host body, so it is in her interests to pick the most intelligent and well-informed body she can find. Rapunzel, an orphan she raised for the purpose of inhabiting her body, called her Mother Sweetness.

Sea Hag

 

Sending: The emulation of Com-Pewter set up by the Worm on Grey Murphy's Mundane computer. It later made use of one of the magic screens around Xanth to further its own plans.

 

Siegfried: Father of Onda. They live in the South Village.

 

Simurgh: Ageless, is the wisest bird alive. She is said to have seen the destruction of the universe three times and has the knowledge of the ages. She is the Guardian of the Tree of Seeds.

 

Slug: A giant firebreathing slug looking for a slugfest.

 

Smokey of Stover. Guest at Chex's wedding. Once better known in Mundane comics.

 

Snagglesnoot of Syncromesh: Guest at Chex's wedding.

 

Snortimer. The Monster under Ivy's bed who accompanied Grundy Golem on a quest to rescue Rapunzel and save Stanley Steamer. Along the way, he found romance.

 

Stacey Steamer. The Gap Dragon's mate and locum tenens. Also called Stella, since she is a star of dragondom.

 

Stanley Steamer: The youthened Gap Dragon, who was enhanced by Ivy and became her playmate.

 

Stunk: A goblin haunted by bad dreams carried by Imbri.

 

Synec Doche: Juror at Grace'l's trial; concerned with parts and the whole.

 

Tangleman: Once a tangle tree who was transformed to a man by King Emeritus Trent when he threatened Ivy. In his humanoid form Tangleman is quite a jolly green giant. He has tentacles for hair,

barklike clothing, and green skin. (This episode was in the deleted Chapter 1 of Crewel Lye, which was axed because it was badly infested with puns.)

 

The Time Being: An elflike humanoid who can jump backward or forward in time as he pleases. He acts as mediator in any dispute when adversaries agree to cooperate "for the Time Being."

 

Toto: Wrong fantasy series; see the Land of Oz.

 

Tristran Troll: Scheduled for a really bad dream, as punishment for releasing a succulent girl.

 

Trolla: Female troll, leader of the Magic Dust Village.

 

Trowel: An elf of the Tool Tribe.

 

Truculent Troll: A witness at Grace'l's trial.

 

Turn Key: A human, the Keeper of the Gate at No Name Key, where the night mares depart Xanth to carry bad dreams to Mundanes.

Ivy and Stanley Steamer

Winged Demon

 

Urmund: Son of Liza. A mischief-maker, his talent is camouflage. He can make topographic features appear to be there that aren't, and vice versa. N2

 

Victrolla: A troll woman of the Magic Dust Village. She is Controlla's younger sister.

 

Vida Vila: Nature nymph who would like to marry Prince Dolph. She can change forms and is diligent in the protection of her land.

 

Volney. Civilized vole of medium-large size with grey fur and brown eyes while above ground, and brown fur with grey eyes below ground. Volney carries silver talons that fit over his own. He can tunnel amazingly fast with them on. He speaks normally, but all other creatures have trouble with their S's. Thus when he says "Sale of the Soul," they hear "Vale of the Vole."

 

Waya: An elder of the Gap Village whose talent is the invisible fence. She uses it to protect small children and animals from falling into the Gap.

 

Wilda Wiggle: Female wiggle with a taste for air-flavored stone, a curiosity among her kind. Her swarm helped to save the Vale of the Vole from the demons. Very petite and attractive, for a vole.

 

Wrench: An elf of the Tool Tribe.

 

Xanthippe. Wicked witch of the wilderness,whose power is instant hypnotism.

 

Xap: A golden hippogryph, mate of Chem Centaur and companion to Xavier.

 

Xavier: Son of Xanthippe, handsome, tan, muscular, golden hair and beard, who loves to fly on his steed, Xap the hippogryph. Xavier's talent is the zap, a light springing from his finger which stuns or kills targets.

 

Zink: A boy of the North Village whose talent was manifesting mirage holes in the ground.

 

Zomonster. The zombie Monster under Lacuna's bed.

 

Zora Zombie: Heroic female zombie who improved in appearance so much with love and a glance from the Gorgon, that she became beautiful and almost whole. She carried the seeds of Doubt, Dissension and War without effect, and bore three curses for her friends.

Prince Naldo

 

PLACES

IN XANTH

Xanth is real. As real as a computer screen's image. The bright and dark points of light mean nothing until your mind interprets them. Xanth is Florida, but a different Florida than the one most people see. It is Florida seen through a mind that sees magic instead of mundane bits of light. Even beyond the puns, Xanth is real the same way that Santa Claus is real. It all depends on how you look at what you read and see.

— Piers Anthony

 

t is difficult to draw an accurate map of Xanth, because many places remain undiscovered, while others are elusive. Some have spells of obscurity on them. Chem is the map-projecting centaur, but when she was ostracized for mating with a non-centaur she became a bit taciturn and no longer cooperates very well. However, we were able to contact the Xanth PinUp Calendar folks, who had somehow gotten information from Chem, and so are able to present a fairly complete description here.

 

Xanth is a land of beauty, full of exotic forests and jungles, mountains, lakes, caverns  and meadows. Because of the Demon's magical influence, the features of the land are more aware of their position, needs, and appearance than those in Mundania, and are able to alter themselves magically if they choose. The face of the land changes subtly every day.

 

Xanth's main point of contact with Mundania is the Isthmus. At times throughout history, this narrow neck of land has been crossed by fourteen major Waves of Colonization and several times by single creatures or groups of creatures who found their way into Xanth by chance. It is possible to determine when and where you are going by the color of the water around the Isthmus. If the water is black, Xanth is tied at that moment to the land around the Black Sea in Asia When the tide turns crimson, Xanth is close to Montgomery, Alabama, Mundania.

NORTH OF

THE GAP

 

gre-Fen-Ogre Fen: Home of the Ancestral Ogres. This swamp is the northernmost feature of Xanth east of the Isthmus. It is an ugly place, obviously inhabited by ogres, for what else could explain the bluewood and redwood trees twisted into the shape of pretzels and huge boulders with the imprints of hairy fists knocked into them. Dragons live here, but they are terrified of anything on two legs, no matter what size, for even the ogrets who live here are fierce and terrible. The tribe of Ancestral Ogres live here according to their own ancient laws. When a matter has to be settled, they fight it out, bashing each other until they run out of things to hit with. The only trees left standing are the beerbarrel trees, which they tap with their fists, and the ironwood trees, which can't be torn down by an ogre using only casual strength. He has to think about it to rip apart an ironwood, and no ogre likes to think. They are as stupid as they are strong. This is not a popular spot for sightseers, as the ogres will happily eat passersby if they can catch them.

 

The Five Forbidden Regions: This province lies directly south of the Ogre-Fen-Ogre Fen. From south to north, the regions are:

 

Air: Immediately inside the border of the Region of Air, dust storms roil and tumble. There is no vegetation, no life here, just sand in dunes and valleys, and stone cliffs. The Big Winds

rule here. Tornadoes tear and cyclones careen, driving sand against the cliffs to make more sand. A blast of the gritty air can tear exposed flesh from one's bones. The region is bounded by a cyclone fence.

 

 

Earth: As soon as you step across the border from south to north, the wind stops. Relief is only momentary, because the ground is quaking under your feet. It does occasionally stop moving, because Earth goes through all of its phases here. The elemental of this region is

the King of the Hill. An unscalable mountain range is visible to the northeast, and a huge volcano spewing lava can be seen at the northern end of the region, on the border between Earth and Fire. Only rock plants and other sturdy growths are produced in the soils, which range from barren to wildly fertile. As you get closer to the Region of Fire, walking becomes hazardous, because the ground becomes unstable, and plates of land skate along the surface of the lava from the volcano.

 

Fire: A ring of fire rages along the border of this region. The land beyond it is burned and the air is full of ash. To the north, an eternal forest fire rages. To the west, a lake of fire  occasionally belches up mushroom clouds of flame. To the east is a field of fire from which columns of flame rise occasionally as gas puffs up from fumaroles and ignites. New plants push up through the ashes, only to be consumed because they are so desiccated that they haven't enough water in their tissues to resist the flames. The heat is on here, and the place is ruled by the Laws of Thermodynamics.

 

Water: At the north end of the realm of Fire, the firewall at the flaming border raises a hot cloud of steam, which coalesces on the other side into clouds. The Water Wing has a tendency toward weather. Strong rainfall is common here, as are sleet and snow. Water abounds in all its states. There is almost no dry land in the Wing. What topography exists is there mainly to redistribute the water that flows in cataracts and torrents. A huge snow mountain rises out of the center of the region. An Abominable Snowman has been sighted

there. There are herds of snow bunnies and a few snowbirds. In a pleasant lake on the western fringe of the mountain, a few middle-aged mermaids and tritons live, enjoying the cool water and the flavored icicles which grow down beside the waterfalls of melting snow.

 

The Void: Beyond the border of Earth is an imperceptible swirl of nothingness. No landmarks can be seen from outside. Inside, it is a smooth, gently sloping valley. Perception is confused here. One sees what one wishes to see; it is all illusion. The Void is the absence of all physical reality. Even real things which enter are subject to misperception. Once having entered, it is difficult to leave the Void. An invisible one-way stone wall prevents you from turning back once you have come in a certain distance. Footprints glow in the Void. They can be seen in a color appropriate to the creature who made them: a centaur's are brown, an ogre's are black, a human's are red. Any beings encountered are perceived at first as of one's own species. Only by concentrating can a person distinguish the true images. The land itself is carnivorous; it consumes travelers that wander in. Nothing is permitted to leave. The only way to escape is to transport or be conjured, or to ride a night mare out of the Void, although night mares themselves can be trapped there, too, as Mare Imbrium was. At the southernmost extremity of the Five Forbidden Regions, just north of the Gap, is a wall of flypaper.

 

The Kingdom of the Flies: Just beyond the wall of flypaper live swarms of flies of all kinds: stingflies, worker flies, deerflies, horseflies, dragonflies, fiddler flies, and fair damselflies. Sweat gnats, itchflies, bleederflies, and fly-bys keep the air buzzing with gossip about all goings-on throughout Xanth. Shoeflies march up, bowflies shoot arrows, sawflies, hammerflies, screwdriverflies work furiously on fly-by-night construction schemes. The kingdom is ruled over by the Lord of the Flies, a huge demonic fly with multiple-facet eyes, who sits on a throne made of fly ash and flypaper. His soldiers are guardflies and spearflies.

His favorite book is The Sting by A. Wasp.

 

Dragonland: Located east of the Region of Air. The trees are crosshatched with claw-marks from dragons sharpening their talons on them. Droves of dragons roam here. Their leader is the scintillating Dragon Lady, who reigns supreme, supine on her nest of diamonds under a dragonet (dum de dum dum). Her tail is blue and barbed, and she has a bright red neck. While she reclines, she likes to read the latest number of Monster Comics. There is a high range of mountains known as the Dragon Range. The peak at the tip of the nose is called Mount Etamin, where Draco Dragon lives in his cavern nest. Chasing the Dragon Range is another constellation of mountains in the shape of a bear called Ursa. Mount Etamin is a steeply sloped peak scorched bare of vegetation. The cave entrance is narrow, but it leads to a large cavern system within. The passage gradually widens into a stalactite-rimmed chamber in which half the floor is taken up by a black pool of water. Draco's home can only be reached by diving into the pool and under the stone wall of the cave. This is hazardous, for the water is infested with piranhas. The cave beyond is patrolled by bats. High up on a ledge is the dragon's nest, furnished with the very latest and most tasteful in gems

and other valuables.

 

Naga Caverns: Another cave entrance leads to the realm of the naga. Nagas are serpents with human heads, and can change shape to either of the component parts of their natures, human or snake. When nagas hiss, they produce clouds of noxious fog. Since nagas can slither through small tunnels, the passages between the chambers of their realm are narrow.

 

Region of the Goblins: Located east of the Region of Fire. The goblins here follow strictly the code of behavior laid down over the centuries. Travelers are waylaid and threatened, and cheated if possible. Anything or anyone that looks edible is eaten. In case of danger, run. Profanity comes as easily to the lips of these goblins as their own names. Most goblins are illiterate, illtempered, and ill-mannered, and these are sterling examples of goblinkind.

 

 

 

 

The Home of the Callicantzari: Found underneath the Goblinland, the Callicantzari lives in a cavern lined with rainbow fungus. This beast is a grotesquely deformed man-shaped thing. It regards the world from two great eyeslits arranged over a bulbous nose in a furry face from which protrude twisted tusks. Its arms have bulging muscles, but they appear to be attached to them backwards, and some of the bones in its torso look as though they are in the wrong places. The Callicantzari exudes a stench like a putrid cloud, which helps victims keep away from it in the dark, for it is a meat-eater, and prefers to wear out its prey in the underground

maze.

 

Elfland is south of the Region of Goblins. Elves are group hunters and respect one another's property, but unclaimed animals or creatures traveling alone are fair game. Elves make their camps only around elf elms, because an elf's strength increases the nearer he is to one. When danger threatens, the women and children flee to the tree's heights, while the warriors ring the base. When at peace, the elves live simply. They use leaves for bowls and plates. Mice and grasshoppers are hunted for meat, which is incorporated into stew made with vegetables, nuts and fruit. To guests, the elves are most hospitable, and provide wonderful entertainment.  Elfin grog is an amazing brew which makes it possible even for humans to climb trees and perform unusual feats of strength.

 

Region of Griffins: Northern neighbors of the goblins, against whom they defend their terrain fiercely. They have royal lineages and are fussy about protocol and neatness. Baby griffins hatch from eggs in big nests in lowbranching trees. They are the color of shoe polish (making them black, brown, oxblood, white, and grey).

 

Birdland: Found north of the Region of Griffins and east of the Region of Earth. The road through here is a private thoroughfare, and travelers passing through have to pay a 20 percent toll tax. According to the parrot who collects it, one out of every five who pass through this land must stay here. The birds need slaves to plant and harvest seeds for the huge winged population who roost here. Birdland is ruled by the Bird of a Feather, who keeps abreast of important topics by reading. (His latest book is Avian Artifacts by Ornith O'Logy.) The Bird cares for his slaves, and sees that they are well treated. They lack nothing except their freedom. Inside Birdland, near a small waterfall pool stocked with perch and lined with birds-nest fern, is a colony of fairies who were cast out of Fairyland and have found a happy home here (Ogre, Ogre, p. 210).

Birdland

 

NORTH

VILLAGE

ntil Castle Roogna was reopened, the Storm King's palace in the North Village was the most recent center of human government in Xanth. This village is the largest in Xanth, composed of approximately 500 human beings. This village is home to Bink and his parents, Roland and Bianca. The village is built within a stockade, which protects the inhabitants against the encroaching wilderness. In the center of the common green is Justin Tree, one of the North Village's most enduring and wise inhabitants. There is a market square where folks from all over the north of Xanth come to trade their goods.

There are in or near the stockade perhaps fifty houses, made of wood, stone, and clay. The roofs are thatch or boughs grown on roof-trees. Sanitary facilities are "out back" from the main dwellings. Roland's home is the largest and finest, grown from fine, glossy wall-nuts.

 

Outside the stockade, farmers till fields of crops. One of the most useful crops is light bulbs, which are used for interior lighting in houses. Milkweed pods are cultivated, too, to ensure a fresh supply for children, as the pods expire after about a week. cheesefruit, hot-potatoes, and any desirable foodstuff that does not naturally grow nearby is sown by the farmers to feed the large population of the North Village. Young people with a talent for finding things forage in the jungle for other necessities, but only during the day. The wilderness of Xanth is too dangerous at night. From a boulder known as Lookout Rock, just outside the village, you can see about a quarter of Xanth. The Rock is not particularly high, but its magic is increased perspective, which makes it an appealing spot to sit and work out knotty problems. It uses its placement and its own ugliness as protective integration, so that no one would consider breaking it up to use for any other purpose. Lookout Rock is a metamorphic upthrust of the type seen in Mundania in the New England highlands.

Due south of the North Village is a major centaur settlement, the largest outside the Centaur Isle. The centaurs there are less prudish about magical talents than those in other settlements. Chester and Cherie Centaur lived here until they moved to the environs of Castle Roogna to serve the human government.

North Village

 

THE GAP

his vast crevice would certainly be memorable, except that it has a formidable Forget Spell on it. The Chasm stretches across Xanth from west coast to east coast, preventing anything without wings from easily crossing it. It resembles a jagged lightning bolt that splits Xanth. On closer observation, the Chasm proves to be fractile, with small jags branching off from the large jags, and smaller from each of those, and so on ad infinitum, until you might step over a tiny irregular gash an inch wide and an inch deep in the earth miles away from the Gap, and never know what it was.

 

There is a footpath down into the Gap east of the Gap Village, down where the Gap is shallower than at almost any other point, but it is a hard and twisted trail. The southern slope is gentler than the northern at that point, so it is easier coming from the south to get into the crevice than to get out. Vegetation is thick along the sides, providing handholds for the near-vertical ascent and some camouflage from the dangers within the Gap.

Rivers cross the Gap, flowing down one side into the Chasm, and magically defying gravity as they flow up the other side into the other half of Xanth. It is possible to escape from the Gap by swimming along one of these rivers. The Gap is guarded by the Gap Dragon, a huge steamer with a sinuous body and three pairs of stubby legs. Lake most Xanthian dragons, it has metallic scales. Very supple, no rigid backbone, and the ground whomps when the dragon moves. The Gap Dragon has six legs and very handsome scales of shimmery blue, green, and iron grey. He (or she) is admirable, but it is recommended that the admiring be done from a good distance. The Dragon has a huge

appetite for fresh meat steamed right off the bone. The Good Magician has warned that the Dragon is important to the welfare of the Gap, so Stanley or

The Gap and Area

 

Stacey (as it has been discovered they are named) are avoided whenever possible but not harmed. Nickelpedes swarm here, too, prepared to take nickel-sized chunks out of any flesh that might present itself. However, these are not vital to the Gap, and are killed whenever they appear.

 

There are three bridges over the Gap, but none are easy to find. The first and most easterly is an invisible bridge over the Gap, but it requires nerve to take it, because there appears to be nothing supporting your feet, and the drop to the Gap floor is formidable. The bridge is only one way. If any folks crossing by it turn back before reaching the end, the bridge will dissolve under them, dumping them into the Chasm far below.

 

The second bridge, to the west, is the main bridge. It is just north of Castle Roogna. It is solid and visible, with well-worn paths leading to it on either end, but because of the Forget Spell even it is not well known. While Castle Roogna was inhabited four hundred years ago, this bridge was the chief passage between north and south Xanth. It fell into disuse, but since government has returned to the Castle, the bridge is seeing quite a lot more traffic.

 

The third bridge is the One Way Bridge near the Faux Pass. This path is visible from both sides of the Gap, but it is only solid from south to north. Anyone trying to set foot on it from the north will feel nothing, as if the bridge is an illusion. If, however, someone steps onto the bridge at the south end, the whole bridge will solidify, and anyone coming down from the north may cross in safety. The Forget Spell is slowly breaking up, so local villagers suspect that there will be more visitors coming hereafter to view the Gap.

The Gap Village: This human settlement is more rustic than North Village. It is only a minor stockade, but it is the largest human habitation anywhere on the edge of the Gap. It lies close to the shallowest part of the north slope. This is Chameleon's home town. The Gap villagers are simple farmers and trappers, who work hard to make ends meet.

SOUTH OF

THE GAP

he Faux Pass: This landmark was formed as the result of a giant misstep by the giant Faux (pronounced FOE), who was reputed to be so big that clouds blew around his knees as he walked. Once while tramping north from his normal stomping grounds (and we do mean stomp), Faux failed to observe a mountain range. He caught his left foot in it and tripped. He didn't fall, but his kick knocked a huge gap out of the mountain range, leaving a way through for lesser creatures.

 

The Isle of Illusion: This island lies in the sea on the east coast of Xanth almost directly across from the edge of the Gap Chasm. The Sorceress Iris lived there in a palace made beautiful by illusion. In reality, the house was a small, shabby shack no better than those owned by the poor farmers of Xanth. The island has been deserted since Iris married King Trent. When she was not keeping a close watch on her talent, it stole away back to the island, and had to be retrieved.

 

The Big Top: Lies south of the Gap, in the Winter Garden. Among ice plants, snowball bushes, and Christmas dagger plants, a huge, colorful, humming top spins like a mountainous toy. A cerberus barker guards the entrance. You need a ticket to get in, otherwise the troll roustabouts will throw you out. If you decide not to pay and sneak in under the edge of the tent, you run a risk of brushing against the bottom of the bleachers, which will drain all the color from your hair and clothes. There is a freak show inside, as well as a concession stand, a high wire-grass act, rides, and of course, the attractions in the center ring, surrounded by the bleachers. There is also a display of fantastic artifacts, which at one time included one of the volumes of the Encyclopedia of Xanth. The Big Top is run by the Ringmaster, a man made entirely of clanking metal rings.

Isle of Illusion

GOOD

MAGICIAN

HUMFREY'S

CASTLE

his edifice was once the ancient home of the Zombie Master. It was guarded by zombie plants and creatures, a zombie tangle tree, and had a zombie sea-serpent in the slime-filled moat. Guard-zombies were at one time stationed all around to prevent the castle from being approached unaware. The Zombie Master led a spartan existence here in the first half of its life.

The castle was in only marginally better shape than its 700- year-old protectors until Good Magician Humfrey compelled a hundred centaurs to refurbish it for his use.

 

In what was left of the walls, stones had fallen away to reveal rotting support beams. Shreds of curtains hung in the windows like dead eyelids over empty sockets. The drawbridge had long since fallen in, but even at its best, it could just barely hold together, and the doors and gates all sag tiredly from their hinges. This castle fell into ruin over the centuries Jonathan spent as a zombie, and was abandoned to his house zombies, who happily occupied its remains. When Humfrey's work force of centaurs was through, the castle stood tall and slender with stout outer ramparts, and boasted a high inner tower topped by ramparts and embrasures.

 

It has all of the features such a wizard's castle might reasonably have. It is completely surrounded by a moat filled with murky water. The castle was built expressly to Humfrey's design in service for the Answer to a Question put him by the Elders of the Centaur Isle. Humfrey hates visitors or anything having to do with socializing, so there are always three perils through which one must pass to enter. They are always changing, depending on Humfrey's whim and the particular creatures who are serving out their year's indenture, though the first usually has something to do with whatever is occupying the moat. Humfrey periodically moves the castle or scrambles the paths, so that it is harder yet to find. Not only that, but the whole building is bespelled so its shape can be changed completely into one of ten different floor plans.

Good Magician Humfrey's Study

 

Once you have penetrated inside the castle, the character of the place changes from forbidding to friendly. The Gorgon is in charge of the interior, except for Humfrey's study, which no one else ever touches. The dining room is handsome and well appointed. The kitchen is somewhat old-fashioned in construction, but equipped with all the latest spells for cooking and cleaning. In the pantry, the Gorgon keeps delicacies, such as partially petrified Gorgonzola cheese, which she makes herself.

 

Humfrey's study is tiny and cluttered. Over the century-plus that the gnomish Good Magician has all but lived in it, this room has become stuffed with old tomes, multicolored bottles, magic mirrors, dirty socks, and assorted unidentifiable artifacts. Humfrey studies a book written by the Muse Thalia that keeps track of history, recording events as they happen. (Whenever he likes, he peers into the future or the past.) On the shelves are copies of the many magical texts about Xanth that have been leaked to Mundania.

 

A glass-fronted set of shelves with a lock holds hundreds of little glass bottles in which Humfrey keeps some of his spells. Uncorking one unleashes the spell within. These vials are useful to Humfrey when he travels, since he can pack up all his information books in one for easy conveyance. One of the largest stoppered jars contains several mothballs, magical devices which sheathe articles in grey-white streamers that spread out into a filmy tent which can protect the articles for up to a hundred years. Humfrey uses them to seal up the castle when there will be no one there for a long time.

 

The cave canem, a cave spell which turns men who enter it into dogs; a bag of wind; one vial of spy-I's, the rubber bands (presumably intended for entertainment); a book of Words of Power; and a squash were all used up in the dynasty battle against the Horseman.

 

The squash is a tiny cucurbit that grows into a giant vegetable. When the vial is opened and thrown into the air, it comes down SQUASH! The Words of Power included such words as schnezl, which causes uncontrollable sneezing. Amnsha causes forgetfulness, skonk emits bilious clouds of the most powerful bad smell, krokk changes men into gators with real teeth, and bansh makes people disappear.

 

One of Humfrey's historical accounts mentions that he once had the River Elba tied up in a coil as a useful article of magic. On a label tied to it was printed, "Able was I ere I saw elbow," which is probably how the bespeller captured and bound up the whole watery strand. Still on the shelf somewhere are the paper dollies, insubstantial nymphs which look like the real thing but disappear when punctured; a ham sandwich lunch reputed to be over a

hundred years old; eighteen pairs of new, clean socks; a traveling magic mirror; a metal detector spell; and a copy of the Mundane Information Please Almanac. If there is any question which Humfrey can't answer from the pages of the books in his study, he knows where he can go to get the solution.

 

In the upper reaches of the castle are the bedchambers, furnished in a gracious style to suit the Gorgon's taste. One of them was redecorated as a nursery to accommodate Hugo, though it has been altered to suit a young Magician rather than an infant.

 

CASTLE

ROOGNA

o the southwest of Humfrey's castle, halfway between it and the chain of islands on the west coast of Xanth, lies the seat of human government and the social and magical center of Xanth, established by King Roogna during the inception of the Fifth

Wave. Surrounded by a moat and 30-foot-tall ramparts is the castle, a massive edifice in stone built by centaur architects. The castle's gate is protected with an iron portcullis. The building is roughly square, its outer ramparts 100 feet on a side, braced by four great square towers on the corners, projecting halfway out from the main frame. In the center of each side is a small round tower, also half-protruding.

 

Originally, it had no windows, but some were cut in the walls after Trent reopened it. The strength and beauty of the walls and towers show the quality of work put into them by the centaur crew that built the castle. The extensive gardens were laid out by Roogna himself, who was a keen gardener.

 

Castle Roogna was built on a wager. If King Roogna failed to overcome Magician Murphy's curse and couldn't build the castle within a year, the throne would pass to Murphy. Roogna did overcome everything that went wrong, including the transformation of his newest chambermaid, to finish the job. When Gromden, who was King 400 years after Roogna, died, the beautiful palace was deserted and then forgotten.

 

The castle has its own magic bestowed upon it by Roogna, whose talent was adaptation—it sought a new Magician to rule as King. The castle itself is devoted to harmony, magic, jungle, and mankind. The castle is haunted by ghosts who, unlike shades, can have no direct effect on the lives of living beings. There were six, among them Millie the

Ghost, who was brought back to life by Bink; Doreen; Jordan the Barbarian, whose bones were found and reassembled by Bink's granddaughter Ivy; Button, a child of six; and Renee, otherwise known as Threnody, who had to leave the castle once she had been restored to life, because of a curse laid on

Projection Map of Castle Roogna

 

her by her stepmother. Roogna also has a host of zombie servitors, rats, and vampire bats.

 

The path to the castle goes through the gardens overlooking the orchard. Beyond the drawbridge, the main entrance leads into an anteroom where visitors wait until the King is ready to see them. Double doors open into the great hall, a majestic chamber with a high, vaulted ceiling and tall, narrow windows. There are small drawing rooms on the first floor. One of them, in which the centaur schoolmistress holds classes, overlooks the pool and long

fountain in the gardens.

 

On the floor above the great hall is the library. This room is filled with tomes of great importance, histories, records, and information on magic and magical creatures. It is a quiet room, with wooden paneling, to which the King can withdraw for privacy.

 

In the upstairs drawing room nearby hangs a gigantic Tapestry, a woven magical moving picture depicting Xanth of 800 years past. It shows great adventures and episodes of love, battles with dragons, wars, scenes of peace, all in miniature and at the same pace as contemporary life, so that a day in the Tapestry appears to take the normal twenty-four hours. Princess Ivy had the Tapestry moved to her chamber for more convenient viewing. The scenes on the Tapestry can be enlarged to focus on a specific event, or rerun depending on the wishes of its audience.

 

Magic mirrors adorn some walls of the castle, and serve as communication devices. One of them is used by Ivy and Dolph to call home to their parents when they are away (though that one was stolen for a time by Com-Pewter).

 

The Royal Nursery is on the uppermost floor of the keep. The other bedchambers are on the next floor below, to muffle the sound of juvenile tears and tantrums, when there are any children. As children grow up, they move to more suitable adult chambers in the rest of the castle.

 

The kitchens are at the back of the castle, and their walls are spelled to keep the odor of kitchen garbage from leaking into the formal chambers. There is a dumbwaiter in the kitchen, which is used to convey food from the kitchen to the dining room above, though it played a part in the mystery of Millie's disappearance eight centuries ago.

 

Beneath the castle is a cellar in which good wines are kept, as well as curious magical beverages that have been distilled or brewed by one of the kitchen staff, and were not naturally grown in trees or flowers. These include boot rear, a drink that gives one a real kick, distilled from the sap of the shoefly tree. Injure jail, a concoction of incarcerated water, puts one behind bars and roughs one up. There is also card hider, after drinking which the imbiber will find pasteboards up his sleeves; club soda, a dangerous knockout punch, and droft sink, which makes you disappear through the floor.

 

These beverages are frequently made for parties, since the unexpected effects are considered to be great icebreakers. (It's as well to be cautious when sampling the offerings at a party in Xanth.) A few other barrels contain seam croda, poot frunch, and June pruice, though their magical effects haven't yet been noted. A very large keg to one side bears a sign that warns not to drink the contents. It contains drapple ink, which is used to sign indelibly all

official documents. The dark purple-blue stain never comes off whatever it has touched.

Next to the wine cellar is the Royal Treasury. The Royal Treasury of Castle Roogna has contained a goodly number of curious weapons and spells over the centuries. Thanks to King Dor's talent of communication with the inanimate, none are now unidentified. Some fall into everyday use, such as the flying carpets, the most comfortable way to travel.

 

The library in Castle Roogna has books of spells and information on the older magical paraphernalia. The Escape Hoop was once a two-inch ring that was expanded to two feet in diameter by Vadne over 800 years ago. Anything passing through it finds itself in the preservative pool of the Brain Coral. The Pathfinder Spell, which looks like a small bit of wire, works only once for one person, and was meant to adapt to how much time one has to make one's way, has already been used up, but its niche on the shelf of spells is still marked, as are the places once occupied by the Melt Spell and the Forget Spell.

 

The Forget Spell, which was created by Magician Yin-Yang four hundred years ago, was detonated over the Gap by Dor during the Fifth Wave invasion eight hundred years ago so that the creatures he was leading toward it would forget it was there and be unable to resume their hostilities. (Forget-whorls are pieces of the decaying Forget Spell on the Gap that break off and randomly wander loose over the landscape.) The time paradox involved here is recorded in one of the books in the Royal Library.

 

The sunspot, a glowing globe which lights up as brightly as the sun on command, rests in a bracket depending from the ceiling of the chamber. It was once used on an adventure by Irene, but has since been returned. Magical swords, shields, and armor lie in tidy heaps in one part of the room. Gold and silver are of little use in Xanth, since there is no traditional monetary unit, but a modest glittering hoard of both metals is on hand here, along with a small keg of gems, for trade with Mundania.

 

Castle Roogna's defenses are not all immediately perceivable. The castle's own early-warning system of trumpet-vines, tattlesnakes, and sen-trees keep the inhabitants well apprised in advance of visitors or intruders. Glass trees provide spy-glass for maintaining a lookout over the castle walls, and a young female moat monster swims in the deep moat waters. A contingent of zombies occupy a graveyard in the castle grounds, and a few of them will be found patroling at all hours. Protective plants, like club ferns and spear grass, provide defense from attackers trying to sneak into the castle grounds over the wall. Some of them, like the cherry-bomb trees, are as old as the castle. Others were grown more recently by Irene.

 

Along the shortest path from Castle Roogna toward the Ogre-Fen-Ogre Fen is the Looking Glass Land. Beyond the one-way mirror which blocks the path, everything is made of glass. Glass cows graze on glass grass, and men of glass live in glass houses, though there are no stones hereabout to throw, save glass ones. The soil in which glass plants grow is, of course, ground glass. Vitreous birds fly through the air, and pretty glass unicorns live in the fragile glades. Also in the region of Castle Roogna is the Musical Forest. The trees have radiating spokes that angle into the constant stiff wind. Each spoke produces its own sustained note, and each tree its pattern of notes. The larger the tree, the more complex the

chord it plays. When a person walks through the forest, interrupting the flow of wind over the

spokes, it is like playing a tune in the trees.

Castle Roogna Environs

 

Ever-Glades: Endless tracks of swampy fields, islands of trees, and tall grass through which one will pass over and over again forever unless rescued by someone with reverse wood.

 

Flee Market: A fast-moving, mobile bazaar seen rushing all around Xanth. Anything one wants may be bought and sold here. The Market is usually preceded by a pair of giant foot-balls that clear the way. Depending on how well the Market is going, it varies in speed from a swift trot to rapid flight.

 

Vale of the Vole: The Kiss-Mee River Valley once contained the friendly curved river that was home to the civilized voles in the eastern wilderness of Xanth (though for some reason they don't consider it to be in Xanth). The Kiss-Mee is so friendly that anyone who touches the water must kiss the first person he or she meets. Demons moved in and pulled it straight, depriving it of its friendly curves, which made it unfriendly to the land it passed through, drying out the land and flooding some burrows it previously missed. It was called the Kill-Mee River briefly. The voles tried to correct the straight banks, but the demons had posted guards to prevent meddling with their meddling. As a result of the demonic interference, the hummers which live there bred into unbearably large populations and drove the demons crazy. The same thing happened to the Kissimmee River in Florida, by no coincidence. Unlike the Mundane river, however, the Kiss-Mee was allowed to return to its natural

state.

 

Demon Lake: A huge square cavern whose walls are carved to resemble brick buildings, very like a Mundane city. Rubber-tired vehicles prowl the streets, and one requires a ticket to roam the Demon Realm. There is a rum refinery in the Realm, where demon rum is made up and packaged in rum wraps. The Magistrate of the Demon Realm is Beauregard, Humfrey's former assistant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not-Really-In-Xanth-But-Should-Be-Mentioned-Dept.

 

Mundania: Since little magic exists in Mundania, apart from rainbows, there's nothing there but terrain, animals and people, none of which are interesting enough to mention here, except perhaps Squeedunk, which had the distinction of being Magician Grey's home town. No one who had a choice would live in Mundania. The name derives from the Fantasy Fans' name for the realm of nonfans. Synonym: Dreary.

Lake Ogre-Chobee and Area

 

Lake Ogre-Chobee: The shores of this lake are the first ancestral home of the ogres, who moved from there to the Ogre-Fen-Ogre Fen.

 

Faun and Nymph Retreat: A handsome lake and a lovely mountain surrounded by thick forest, enclosed by a ring of mountains south of Lake Ogre-Chobee is the last preserve of the ancient fauns and nymphs. All the breeds but nerefauns and nereids live here: dryads and dryfauns in the forest, oreads and orefauns in the caves and on the mountainside, and naiads and naifauns in the lake. They spend all day in innocent pleasure, full of love and happiness, playing, eating, laughing, chatting merrily. By their very nature, fauns and nymphs are without defense. They do not understand hate, and when the sun goes down, it wipes out all memory of the day before, so they can't remember their fellows who were killed or kidnapped. These eternal children are helpless before any predator. Every day is new to them. The mountains and Snortimer the Bed Monster are their only protection from incursions by goblin hordes and others that would enslave or eat them.

 

The Fountain of Youth: In exactly the same place as on the corresponding map of Florida lies a magic pool whose water causes any living thing to grow younger. The water does not need to be drunk for the magic to take effect; it can work its magic through the skin. The Fountain is in a forest of box elders, which derive their strength from it and the youth of any unsuspecting passersby they can catch. The placement of the Fountain is kept a secret by Humfrey from everyone in Xanth, who believes that if the knowledge should slip out, the water would be generally misused. Humfrey uses the Fountain's waters to keep himself at about 100 years of age.

Fountain of Youth

Faun and Nymph Retreat

 

Land of the Basks: North of Castle Roogna and due east of the Faux Pass, the basilisks and cockatrices live with their families, henatrices and chickatrices. This area is not visited much by humans. Cockatrices and basilisks are by nature solitary beasts, for though they have the power to turn other creatures to stone, they are physically weak. Still, Baskland is a dangerous place to go.

 

New Castle Zombie: Zombie Master Jonathan and his family lived with Good Magician Humfrey in Jonathan's old castle for ten years, until the new home was completed. He and Millie now live in a castle especially decorated with slime and moss to Jonathan's taste in the southern uncharted wilderness of Xanth. In this castle, which was built to his liking, the outside is constructed of slimestone, and surrounded by a green and sludgy moat filled with zombie guardian monsters. It was built by his zombies, which means that the construction was very slow, and had to be personally overseen much of the time by Jonathan. The castle already looks centuries old. The wooden drawbridge is warped and unsteady. The ghoulish decor does not extend beyond the gates, however, as his wife Millie has taken over the inside and beautified it. In this castle, as in Humfrey's, the feminine touch has left its mark. Tapestries and draperies cover the stone walls, giving them a pleasant warmth. The floors are spotlessly clean, and each room is tastefully furnished. Jonathan's study is sparse, with simple wooden chairs and tables, as he prefers it, but the rest of the castle furniture is suitably padded for the comfort of guests. Hiatus and Lacuna, the Zombie Master's children, have bedrooms on the second floor of the castle, but share a sitting room between them where stands the "jerk box," a large cabinet from Mundania that plays raucous and discordant music at incredible volume.

 

The Blackboard Jungle: Not far from Castle Roogna, the jungle is full of magic slates on easels and stands. Each blackboard grows up with different words and pictures on it. This curious thicket is frequently torn apart by ogres, who usually can't read, and are angry that there is something here that they can't understand.

 

Spectre Lake: A misty body of water inhabited by ghosts, and a popular haunt of vacationing zombies.

 

The West Stockade: This enclosed village is on the western shore of Xanth "Where the gaze-gourds grow." This is a minor human settlement, significant only because it is from here that Millie the Maid comes.

New Castle Zombie

 

Isle of View: An affectionate island where the sleeping princess was supposed to wait. Just speaking its name in the company of the opposite sex can lead to interesting complications. The Love-Lies-Bleeding Monument was originally set here to mark the place of the sleeping princess, but it was stolen.

Visible on the shore from the Isle is a monument marking King Trent's landing, decorated with a gourd and a never-fading purple amaranth flower. The monument was guarded by an argus, a catoblepas, and a harpy. They take it in turns to look after the monument, a day at a time. There are also a land kraken and magic vegetables to assist. The three monsters are assured unending life as long as the monument stands unmolested.

 

Isles of Joey: A group of islands: Thieves' Isle, where travelers forget about the valuables they bring with them, so they fall to Black Pete, the island hotel's dishonest proprietor. He uses mustard seeds soaked in Forget-Whorl to steal. His talent is dishonesty. Beauty, whose natural splendor is so complete and perfect that it would seem illusory, but it is real. However, it is populated by one hundred one and a half monsters, each worse than the last. Horror, which resembles one of the more frightening haunted scenes in the gourd. Water, where the water worm turns all it touches to water. The isle, which is made of dry water, looks like a single broad scintillating patch of water in the midst of the sea. Fake Isle is used as cover by a gigantic female kraken who eats the innocent prey that approaches. Food Isle is a huge cake with ice cream, chocolate sauce and all the trimmings. Children who find this isle forget all about good manners or decent nutrition. There are believed to be other Isles

of Joey as yet undiscovered.

 

The Gold Coast: Several days' sailing south of the Isle of Illusion is the Gold Coast, where the sands, trees, plants, fruit and rocks are pure gold. There stands the Ivory Tower, on a lonely promontory, where Rapunzel was once imprisoned by the Sea Hag. From its top, a magic light swings around and around, illuminating the shore, then the water, then the shore again. The Tower is only accessible on foot at lowest tide. Otherwise, it is cut off by swiftmoving tides and dangerous golden rocks.

 

Fee: Inland from the Gold Coast is the region of the Fee. In this glade live stunningly beautiful humans, mostly young women in flowing white, who are all marred by a single animal feature, such as hawk talons, dog paws, or a snake's tail. Their leader is Fulsome Fee, a handsome young man with duck feet. The Fee seek to breed with outsiders to revive their diminishing population. It is a place for travelers to avoid, for the Fee insist that they mate

for life.

Gold Coast

 

Magic Dust Village: The Village was once a normal stockade where humans lived, sacking and distributing the magic dust which welled up there from the Source of Magic. Rocs beating their powerful wings drive the dust upward so that the prevailing northwesterly winds will carry it away into the rest of Xanth. The Siren arrived one day on one of the two small islands in the nearby lake, and began to lure away all the males in the Village. None of the men ever came back, and no one knew why. As the population declined, the women of the Village sent out messages asking for others to come help them with their most vital task, for without their continued work, magic would build to a disproportionate concentration there, and the rest of Xanth would revert slowly to Mundanity. In answer to the plea, couples of other intelligent species came to stay, to help with the task, but all of those males were soon under the Siren's spell. Any females who tried to follow were consumed by a gigantic tangler which had made a deal with the Siren to take the women and let the men pass. Soon, there was nothing in the Village but the females, who kept up with their task, but mourned for their lost men. It took the efforts of Bink and the Good Magician Humfrey and their companions to discover that the actual reason for the continued absence of their menfolk was that

the Siren's sister, the Gorgon, was magically rendering them all into stone statues. Once the Siren's magic dulcimer was destroyed, the threat to the Village ended, and the citizens went on with their work. All the races live together there in peace. It is dangerous to use one's talent within the Magic Dust Village, for the raw, concentrated power of the dust floating around in the air may cause an overload. As a result, the villagers do most of their work by hand, and build houses and cook food in the old-fashioned way, without the use of magic Since the days of the Siren, the headwoman of the Village has always been a female troll, because of her hard-headed approach to common sense. Short of that of an ogress, a trolless has the hardest head of any species in Xanth.

The Source of Magic: Far below the Magic Dust Village, beneath the pool of the Brain Coral, is the giant cavern where the Demon X(A/N)th has remained during its Game with the other infinite entities. The vortexes of its thought are placed throughout the cavern so it is possible for anyone to wander into one and experience it. The Brain Coral's pool preserves unharmed in its brine anything which falls into it. Before the Time of No Magic, it was a plain cavern, and the Demon was entombed in a wall, but afterward, it was transformed into a palatial setting with fountains and a throne of solid diamond upon which the Demon ponders at its ease, considering how to better its advantage in the Game. A deadly Shieldstone now prevents anyone from entering the cavern.

The Demon X(A/N)th

 

Region of Madness lies all around the southeast edge of the Magic Dust Village. It is devoid of intelligent life because the high concentration of fallout from the airborne dust plays chaos with the ecology, and drives anything living there mad. The constellations as seen from this region appear to be alive, and behave irrationally. They can hear clearly anything addressed to them (or said about them). The centaur archer constellation we know as Sagittarius can fire its starry arrows down into Xanth.

 

Region of Cats falls just within the area bounded by the Region of Madness. On a catwalk, a catamount crouches, guarding the way. If one falls into the catalytic water around the catwalk, one is visited with catarrh, catatonia, and catalepsy. Catbirds and catfish live in this area. The path leads through cattails growing in catsup where cattle graze, fattening up against future cataclysm. At the end of the path is a catacomb cared for by a caterpillar, containing catnip. Inside the catacomb, the catastrophe can be found on the wall, flanked by bright catseyes. Beyond the cataract is a catapult, a feline the size of a sphinx, which can be bribed to throw travelers in a basket clear across the Region of Madness, in exchange for catnip.

 

Gateway Castle straddles a vortex underneath the lake in the Region of Madness. The vortex, a whirlpool, is a one-way route to an underground cavern on the shore of a glowing lake of warm water. The complex within is the realm of the Curse Fiend theatrical troupes, so the theatre auditorium, practice halls, makeup and costume chambers take up most of the floor space. There is a suitable dungeon for getting Curse Fiend actors in the mood for gloomy portrayals, which can also be used for incarcerating the odd unwanted guest. A well-appointed kitchen provides meals handsome enough to be used on stage. The large individual chambers for principal players and smaller dormitories for bit parts and walk-ons resemble dressing rooms more than simple bedchambers.

Catapult

Gateway Castle

 

Mount Parnassus: This fabled twin-peaked mount is hidden in the illiterate wilderness. Around the foot of Mount Parnassus is a dry channel of small round stones. Among them slinks the dipsas, a small serpent whose bite causes one to become endlessly and unquenchably thirsty. Its victims will drink until they explode, thirst unabated. One of its former victims drank this riverbed dry. Other perils haunt the slopes of the mountain, for at the peaks are the two greatest magical trees in Xanth.

 

At the apex of its south peak is the Tree of Seeds,

guarded by the Simurgh, the wisest bird in the world, who is female, for only females are the keepers of seeds. On the tree grow all seeds of every type ever known in Xanth, many unknown ones, and just as many that no longer exist there, like the ex-seed, pro-seed,

inter-seed. There are also seeds which could be used for evil, such as the seeds of Doubt, a nebulously shaped kernel; Dissension, a sharp-spined burr; and War, a mushroom-cloud shape. On the south slope of the south peak is a beautifully carved stone palace of ornate columns and smooth walls etched with the incised figures of people and animals. Here live the nine Muses. Clio, the Muse of History, is eternally engaged in writing texts, among them the magic texts which Humfrey and the centaur scholars use. Thalia, Muse of Comedy and Planting, rules all forms of humor, including irony. It is she who assists visitors to reach the Simurgh. In a cave on the same slope is the Oracle. The priestesses of the Oracle, known as Pythia, sniff intoxicating vapors that rise from crevasses and fissures in the rock and make crazy prophecies in gibberish, which are interpreted for supplicants who have questions. The Oracle is guarded by the Python, the original serpent of desire, who is wise in the fallibilities of man. Eternally young and beautiful Maenads range the north slope. These naked nymphlike creatures tear apart and eat any creature they catch. Some they capture by pretending to be nice, sweet girls, luring males into reach. They drink from a flowing wine-spring which when restored by Magician Grey became blood-flavored wine, so that the Maenads could satisfy both of their hungers at once. The Tree of Immortality grows on the north peak. It is necessary only to consume one leaf of that tree to live forever, but it is almost impossible to reach the tree without getting killed.

 

Mount Rushmost: The meeting place of the winged monsters. Their leader, Cheiron, holds court here. Its peak is broad and flat. Here gather creatures that fly: griffins, rocs, harpies, hippogryphs, winged donkeys, dragons, fireflies, dragonflies, chimerae, and manticora. Several individuals of rarer species, such as winged centaurs like Cheiron himself and his bride Chex, winged mermaids, the phoenix, winged goblins, and flying fish, also gather here. No creature without wings may land on the peak. Even Cumulo Fracto Nimbus may be driven away by the assembled. The Simurgh attends to perform weddings, and is most honored among all monsters for her wisdom.

Palace of the Muses

 

CENTAUR

ISLE

n independent island off the southern tip of Xanth. It is actually a merging of hundreds of tiny "keys" into one big isle. The centaurs who live there consider themselves allies to the human King of Xanth, not his subjects. Gerome Centaur is the chief Elder of the Isle. Centaurs are one of the oldest intelligent magic species in Xanth. The earliest ones were engendered 800 years before the first human settlement in Xanth by three men and their mares, who all drank from a love spring. Their descendants bred with one another, keeping the gene pool small. There have been few crosses outside the centaur line, and they prefer it that way. The centaurs live a most civilized life, depending on magic as little as possible. Their culture is highly developed. They prefer peace, and would rather barter for what they need than fight for it.

 

There are not many human visitors to the isle. Human guests who are invited to stay are placed in comfortable guest rooms that are made to their size and configuration. The centaurs of the isle are always ready to welcome the King or his representatives, but few others are welcomed. For guests from one of the centaur settlements to the north, they provide stables equipped with water trough, hay rack, and salt block. Some of these accommodations have lovely views of well-kept pasture land.

 

The wide streets are of hard-packed earth, and banked on the curves for galloping safety. Here and there, low scrapers are placed for clearing mud from the hooves. It is easy to tell that deep consideration went into every phase of planning the construction.

 

Some of the buildings are made to accommodate the human side of centaurs; some the horsy side. The metalworking section of town has silversmiths and coppersmiths working on beautiful items to please the aesthetic eye. A blacksmith makes more everyday items which may be used to

Centaur Isle

 

serve either the intellectual or the physical needs of the centaurs. An entire manufacturing sector of town is devoted to making weapons and armor, and yet the centaurs would prefer not to make war.

 

Centaur meals are prepared in a communal kitchen. Their dining hall is a beautiful edifice of stone with pillars and high windows to let in the sun and the cool breeze. The table is of striped sardonyx and white alabaster, made tall so that centaurs (who have no need of chairs and eat standing) may eat in comfort. Their plates are of green jadeite. Centaurs have a love of beautiful stonework.

 

An historical museum displaying centaur artifacts explains the diversities of their culture. The centaurs have an agreement dating from their genesis not to make war. They would rather spend their time studying, crafting and perfecting new skills. The former keeper of records was Arnolde the Archivist, dedicated, asocial, and intelligent even by centaur standards.

 

One of the skills the centaurs practice (besides the arts of warfare, mathematics, archery, and the study of humans) is weaving. They make battle garments out of iron-curtain thread which is strongly resistant to penetration by foreign objects. But their talent in weaving is not limited to these. They can duplicate any fabric or garment which grows on blanket bush or shirt tree in greater Xanth; in fact, they prefer to make their textiles

without the use of magic, which they consider to be obscene and not to be mentioned in polite company. Centaur traders follow routes that lead up and down the coasts of Xanth, carrying goods from the isle all over. Centaur-made crafts are much in demand for their high quality and excellence of design.

A QUICK GUIDE

TO PLACES IN XANTH

Ogre-Fen-Ogre Fen

The Five Forbidden Regions

Air

Fire

Water

Earth

The Void

The Kingdom of the Flies

Dragonland

Naga Caverns

North of the Gap

Region of the Goblins

The Home of the Callicantzari

Elfland

Region of Griffins

Birdland

North Village

Tsoda Popka Lakes

Half-Baked Bog

With-a-Cookee River

The Gap

The Gap Village

South of the Gap

The Faux Pass

The Isle of Illusion

The Big Top

Good Magician Humfrey's Castle

Castle Roogna

Ever-Glades

Flee Market

Vale of the Vole

Demon Lake

Lake Ogre-Chobee

Faun and Nymph Retreat

The Fountain of Youth

Land of the Basks

New Castle Zombie

 

The Blackboard Jungle

Spectre Lake

The West Stockade

Isle of View

Isles of Joey

The Gold Coast

Fee

Region of Madness

Region of Cats

Gateway Castle

Mount Parnassus

Mount Rushmost

Centaur Isle

 

THE GOURD

n Xanth, one of the greatest and most subtle dangers is to accidentally look into the peephole of a hypnogourd, which grow in patches all over the land. These vegetables look completely harmless. A gourd resembles a Mundane butternut squash with an extra dimplelike hole on its upper surface. While the body lies helplessly staring into the peephole, the soul is swept into the world of the gourd, where it wanders lost, until someone covers the peephole. If you return to the gourd, you will always go back to the same place you left. If you are lost there, you will be lost again as soon as you return.

 

It seems impossible that an ordinary vegetable like a peephole gourd can contain a whole world, but that is the nature of things in Xanth. The most ordinary outside will conceal the most extraordinary inside. Within the rind are several different lands.

 

The gourd connects Xanth to Mundania via the No Name Key. Unlike the Isthmus, this one uses the gourd for access to the Mundane world, and does not modify the time scale. Night mares and storks make their way through the No Name Key. Turn Key is the Key Holder here.

 

The first face of the gourd most people see is the region of black-and-white horror scenes, complete to haunted house with shocking doorknob, chill drafts, and ghosts. The house is a horror in itself, with a moving staircase that throws one into an oubliette. The graveyard near the rind is full of skeletons who take great pride in their ability to scare the daylights out of visitors.

 

Brassilia, the City of the Brassies, is made of shiny gleaming brass. The city is enclosed by a gleaming wall with no perceptible entrance. The long golden streets are set symmetrically on either side with buildings of perfect squared angles and mirror-shiny surfaces, but no doors or windows. Brassilia seems deserted at first, unless you push the brass button set on a pedestal under the moon. The button sets off the klaxon alarm that stirs the city into motion. The metal buildings begin to slide around the landscape, changing location. They move at a tremendous speed, so it is wise to get out of the way.

Black and White Haunted House in the Gourd

 

 

There is nowhere safe to hide while the city is on the move. Underneath the buildings are cubical brass holes which serve as anchorage spots for the locking mechanisms which keep them in place. If you can jump into one of the holes and wait, a building will eventually come to a stop over you. It is hollow inside, and there is a corresponding hole in its bottom through which the locking bolt passes. Since there are no doors, this is the only way to get inside.

Brass statues of men and women on pedestals stand motionless inside the buildings until another button is pressed, and then the brassies come to life. Brassies wear brassards or

brassieres, and brass hats. Brassies mass-manufacture certain dreams for the Night Stallion. They are good at mechanical work, when they get down to brass tacks. They do very good work in their specialty. One can escape from the city by climbing over the wall, or by taking the Luna Fringe Shuttle at the Luna triptych building. It launches one into the moon, which, like the one outside the gourd, is made of green cheese on its near side. An elevator connects the City of Brass with the Paper World. Green shreds of paper do here for grass. Brown and green constructs of paper form trees. A flat circle of paper pasted on the blue paper sky is the sun, and crepe paper clouds float past it. Houses of cards dot the landscape, each the height of an ogre.

 

Origami animals roam among the pasteboard plant life. Neatly folded paper bugs crawl in the grass. Cardboard birds pull accordion-pleated worms out of the ground. The rocks, clouds, and even the puddles are paper.

 

Visitors are not welcome here. Little cardboard boxes with "Tank" printed on them roll out to shoot paper balls at intruders. Paper tigers spring out to snarl at the unwary with a sound like tearing newsprint.

 

There is a region of the Elements in the gourd, similar to the one in Xanth. The Realm of the Element of Air is lorded over by the Air Monster, a great blowhard, which will not rest until it has destroyed its enemies. This elemental is quite stormy when aroused. It can blow wind or snow or any other inclement weather at perceived threats.

 

Below the Element of Air lies the Element of Earth. A huge cave-mouth in the floor of the cavern is topped by other features which are the personification of the Earth Elemental. It has stalagmites and stalactites for teeth. It has a long stony tongue on which travelers can walk if they have flattered Earth enough. There is reason to praise this elemental: the region is very beautiful. Bands of colored rock and gemstone line the walls of the caverns.

 

A wall of flame marks the realm of the Element of Fire. To pass through, a traveler becomes flame. Fire is malleable, so one can change shape, so long as

Paperworld

 

one is careful not to leave a source of fuel too long. Each of the available fuels have different flavors and colors. Gas is green and flickering, coal blue and even, wood yellow and sputtering.

 

As Fire ends and Water begins, those who have traveled as flame become fish in the endless lake of the Element. Fish and water-monsters of every type abound here, but they will not bother travelers who stay on the enchanted path.

 

The Void follows Water. In the gourd Void, shape is not infinite or definite. One can change to whatever shape or configuration one wishes, even change or eliminate the scenery. Since the Void here is merely a representation of the real Void, it is possible to escape without dying. In fact, the representation of the Void itself can be folded up and transported to another location.

 

In the Desert of the Ifrit, whoever frees the Ifrit in the bottle with the seal marked "Fool" across its cork will die, but is allowed to choose the method. The wise choose old age.

 

The Mirror World is a maze of endless mirrors set in a hall. Some are straight and show true reflections. Some are bizarrely warped. It is possible to be lost here forever.

 

A burning iceberg dominates one land filled with amorphous frights. Next to it, stone-masons made of stone work on metal, wood and flesh. They manufacture backdrops and scenery for the worst dreams.

 

Beyond the masons is a region of boiling mud. This is the best throwing mud, in green, purple, or yellow. It bubbles up from deep underground in messy billows and currents and stinking, flatulent explosions. The mud is impossible to sling without the thrower ending up wearing at least as much as he gets on his target.

 

The path leads next into a jungle of carnivorous vines and bloodthirsty clouds. The trees are animate, and their branches creak threateningly. Beyond it is a thicket where striking weapons of all kinds grow, along with anything else that might be needed for bad dreams.

 

Along one side of this path turn huge, grinding wooden gears. These measure out the time for every event in dreams. The length and placement must be exact or there would be gaps, confusion and fuzziness in a sleeper's mind. The dream realm does its best to keep everything on schedule, but even so, there are inaccuracies. Dreams are intended as sincere warnings.

 

Near the gears, loan sharks, card sharks and poor fish swim in crowded channels. They bluff night mares into fearing them, but they don't dare actually to harm them, for the Night Stallion would punish them if they did. Other travelers have no such protection from the bloodthirsty fishes.

 

You can see the light in the next region from a great distance. Brilliant beams of light crisscross and wave across the enchanted path. The reds burn anything they touch. Lights of searing white vaporize solid matter. Shimmering black ones turn things cold. Green lights make things sprout leaves. Each beam has a different function. Some make things hot or cold; others turn surfaces bright or dull, and leave them clean or dirty.

 

On the other side of the lights is Candyland. On either side of the hard chocolate path is a candy garden. Marshmallows lie scattered as if they were

Burning Iceberg

 

stones. Lollipops grow from the ground like trees and flowers. Licorice weeds do their best to choke out more delicious candy plant life.

 

Next comes a wooden house with a garden. The house looks nice until you are up close, when you can see that it is filled with every kind of bug and creeping horror. The garden is no better. It looks normal, but as you approach, it changes into one filled with vegetable instruments of childhood culinary torture like turnips, spinach, and cabbages. Near the bug-house lies a placid lake of castor oil. Zombies who enter the gourd usually begin in a

zombie garden in which lurks a snake. When it bites, it leaves the flesh healthy instead of infected. The very thought of being visited with health is more terrifying to zombies than the snake is.

 

Next comes a knife fight, in which hosts of rusty knives bar the way unless a strange knife is thrown among them. They will attack that knife until they all break. From here the path seems to go nowhere, but if a fungus rock of a sickly mossy green is crushed, it will burn away dead vegetation until a wooden platform appears, under which are stairs and a landing.

 

The landing leads to a lighted cellar, where one finds an enchanted path barred by a gate where one faces one's deepest fear or shame shown on a zombie looking glass. Unless the fear is faced and conquered, the traveler will end up back where he began.

 

After the gate is a blank wall where one must only picture a door for one to appear. Inside the wall is an exhibition of scenes into which one can pass just by diving through the frames.

 

If instead of climbing down the stairs to the landing, one seeks a different path which leads to a place where rats run, there is a region where a spread

sheet of surprising springiness makes up the floor. By bouncing on this sheet up and down over and over again, one eventually is propelled through the "ceiling" rind of the gourd, where there is another gourd, approximately manheight in size. This is the gourd within the gourd. The peephole in this gourd leads to Mundania. This is the way that night mares convey bad dreams to sleepers there. On the other side of the peephole is the No Name Key, where Turn Key keeps track of passage between Xanth and Mundania. He has at his command all manner of Mundane "science" which he uses in his job, such as a talk box which speaks both Xanth's language and that of Mundania, a magic boat which is propelled by a box at the back that growls like a dragon, and a watch, which finds the object of one's desire. His house is very nice, with carpets on the floor and windows that look out over the Key.

 

The Cakewalk, land of confections. Each sweetmeat has a different effect on the eater. Fruitcake makes one silly, rumballs makes one rolling drunk, angelfood angelic, and devilsfood devilish.

 

Beyond the Cakewalk is a featureless steel floor that forms an infinite plain in the center of the gourd. This is the Pasture of the Night Stallion. The Dark Horse is always in the last place one looks, so one must cover all the terrain of the gourd before ending up here. Trojan is here in one or another of his forms. He may appear as a living stallion with glittering eyes, or as a steelhard, steel-cold statue of a midnight-black horse. If forced into a duel, Trojan is capable of projecting opponents into visions to force them to concede. This is his turf, the Kingdom of Dreams, and the inhabitants of the other lands inside the gourd work for him.

A specialized application of the gourd was encountered by Prince Dolph: the Terminal. This can be terrifying to Mundanes. It is a large chamber filled with people burdened by baggage and possessions, and running to and fro. The chamber's ceiling is held up by tall square pillars. Halls and walkways lead off in all directions from the main room. Every so often, gibberish bursts from spots on the wall.

 

Behind a hole in the wall is a very small room which carries passengers up through the ceiling and onto another floor full of hustle and bustle. Mundane men and women dash through here in a hurry to catch their "planes," silver birdlike cylinders the size of a dragon, with flat projections sticking out the sides. They belch steam from their rears. Magic stairs that move by themselves carry one down to the lower floor again. There are doors that lead to the outside. Once there, you are surrounded by square boxlike things that are jammed head to tail in lines that stretch off into the horizon. They make noises like that of a hungry ogre fighting with a banshee. The moving boxes contain Mundanes that spout nonsense such as "Haybabe!" Large humans dressed in blue whose feet are somewhat flat keep order as best they can, but they can always stop to harass passersby.

 

Since this is a representation of Mundania, addresses are read backward, not sensibly forward, as in Xanth. A door in the Terminal leads to Angle-Land, which was the last line in the address left by Humfrey.

 

The Angle-Land in the gourd is very different from the one actually in Mundania. It is populated by angles, both stationary and mobile: dear little acute angles whose horizons are limited, obtuse angles with very little intellect, very correct right angles, humorless straight angles, and philosophical reflex angles.

 

At the sharpest point of the acute angles lies the gate to Hurts, the next direction in the address. Its bloodstained gate is spiked with broken glass and needlelike spines. Hurts is used by the dream realm for settings to scare dreamers afraid of pain. All its denizens suffer, whether from injuries or diseases or internal emotional distress. The Dungeon Master of Hurts, who manages this set, is a mean-looking human man who wears a black mask.

 

Hurts is bounded by a swift-flowing muddy river over which several fords are set, each supervised by different creatures. Blood flows into the river at various points, and horrendous monsters, the stuff of which bad dreams are crafted, live in its polluted waters. Upstream from Hurts is Frankford, supervised by a man-sized sausage with arms and legs. Next is Afford, where those with plenty of money might cross. Then Beeford, over which hordes of bees buzz. Next is Ceeford, where all the people looked but didn't touch. An alphabet's worth of fords follow these, ending with Zeeford, supervised by striped horses.

 

The next lot of fords flock together. Their names pertain to Mundane types of birds: Ibisford, Heronford, and so on to Storkford, which was where storks crossed with their bundles of joy. The storks follow a path through a field of berries, and down near a bury plant, which produces its fruit underground. Every variety of berry is here, from blue and red berries, to Londonberries to Halingberries which call out to passersby. The Big Halingberry has a loud voice, and its offspring, the Little Halingberry, calls in a mere whisper.

 

Along nearby Main Lane, there are many smaller lanes leading away that have interesting things going on at their ends: Lois Lane, Hot Lane, Cold Lane, Fast Lane, Santa Claus Lane, Derby Lane. After these are the animal lanes, then the bird lanes, where can be found Donald Duck Lane, Sober Goose Lane, and Silly Goose Lane, on which one will get a rude surprise.

 

Silly Goose Lane is lined with Crofts. Eagle, Handi, Welkin, Mans, Kids, and Dames. Damescroft is a tidy thatched and whitewashed cottage, which is the illusory form of  Humfrey's uninterruptible hideaway while he solves his own Question Quest.

 

The Night Stallion can quickly commission special scenes if he has need of them, intended to torment those he wishes to try for treason. The alleged criminal finds himself in a

room with two doors, one marked "Yes" and the other "No," with a question printed on the wall between. Thus the stallion obtains information about the person he is about to put on trial. The questions get harder until the victims beg for mercy, which they will not get. Those found guilty will be executed to find out if they are sincere in their protestations of innocence. If the executee is sincere, he or she will be restored to employment in the gourd.

 

Each time someone enters the gourd, the scene is set for that person. If travelers are not in direct contact, they will be thrust into different dream sequences.

 

Ivy drew Grey Murphy into the Frankinmint Mountain dream sequence when she brought him in from Mundania. The two of them entered through a picture. The mountain is vaguely pyramidal, roughly terraced with sharp clifflike vertical drops and black cave entrances. Perched at the very top is a gourd model of Castle Roogna, so high up that it looks like a tiny toy. Crystal spires point upward from the slopes of the mountain, and fantastic constructs of stone throw long shadows in the sunlight. More than one path spirals around toward the peak.

 

The mountain lies in a vast empty plain so flat that it resembles the surface of a table. It moves across the plain by itself, carrying passengers to its destination. Once on its way, it passes among jungle trees and a river valley, heading for lofty peaks visible in the distance.

 

On the slopes of the mountain grow several kinds of mint. Spearmint stabs anything that moves with tiny spears. Peppermint explodes with irritating pepper grains that cause sneezing. Frankinmint merely smells like a nice mintflavored incense. (Not to be confused with frankincense, which makes people frankly angry). On small ledges stand illusory images of important folks of Xanth. Between some of the ledges the path becomes a narrow span of bridge.

 

Inside the castle, which is devoid of all life or animation, there is an extra door not present in its outside counterpart. Beyond the door is a lovely green landscape. It is a one-way portal. Anyone attracted by the landscape will

Frankinmint Mountain

 

 

become trapped on that side of the door once it closes. The path there leads past a tilting tree to the river of blood that flows from the side of Girard Giant.

 

Loan sharks swim in the river, looking to take an arm and a leg from unwary swimmers. At the source of the river lies the giant, who lay pinned there by order of the Night Stallion for wrecking several vital dream sets.

 

Girard originally wandered in through a jungle scene beset by kraken weeds with powerful suckers that drank blood. Once in place, the suckers were painful to remove. Next, he found himself on a halfway flat plain, over which Cumulo Fracto Nimbus blew freezing wind and sleet.

 

The next peril was a sphinx, followed by a roc. Both attacked fiercely. Girard blundered through the wall of this scene and into the pool of twenty mermaids. Beyond that was the candy house, and on the other side of the candy wall was a pool of writhing tentacles. Next, he found a hillside full of goblins. In the next scene, there was an ogre with a wooden spear which he plunged into Girard's side. These pathways were never meant to intersect.

THE HAZARDS

OF XANTH

t seems to be the desire of every Mundane reader to move to Xanth. That's understandable, considering how dreary Mundania is. But not smart. The fact is, Xanth is dangerous. There are more hazards per square circle in Xanth than anywhere else. Since Mundane folk don't have magic, they are at a serious disadvantage in Xanth. The average visitor would survive less than a day, unless he had the advice and protection of a Xanth native. Oh, sure, things are funny in Xanth. When a harpy swears, the foliage nearby catches fire. When a Xanth couple gets married, zombies may attend. Panty-watching is a great sport, as it is in Mundania. Puns abound. And no good folk ever seem to die. So it seems nice.

But Mundanes are                      I try to be careful what I write in Xanth.  There

not considered good                             is only so far you can go saying goblins are

folk, by and large, so                                    horrible and not showing how they are

they can die like the                        horrible.  Many people were surprised at one

brutes they are.                                           Scene where the children witness a very

Many Xanth creatures                              disgusting goblin atrocity, but even the I

who are not                                      made it clear that what they were seeing had

main characters can                               happened long before, and they were only

die too. Death is a                         seeing a replay.  After all there had to be some

way of life in the                              risk, otherwise the reader can never take the

savage jungles of                                                                                     dangers seriously.

Xanth, and it can                                                                                           -Piers Anthony

come in an impossible

number of

forms. So the notion of a Mundane reader actually moving to Xanth and liking it is sheer fantasy. But there is one route. A reader can't go to Xanth himself, but he can take the place of a Xanth resident for a while, acting through that resident until he succeeds in making that resident blunder into expulsion. This is the route of the Xanth Gamebooks. The truth is, not many Xanth residents of distinction like having their lives managed by absentee Mundanes, so the usual crowd tends to stay clear of the games, but some can be seen on occasion. If you want to discover just how long you might last in Xanth, go to your dreary Mundane bookstore and fork over some stupid Mundane money for one of those Gamebooks the Nymph has made available. Then you'll know, you fool.

 

HAZARDS

utside of the stockades, villages and castles, Xanth is wild and dangerous, but in the dark it is doubly hazardous. Only in houses spelled against the supernatural can humans sleep safely, untroubled except by night mares, whom nothing can keep out.

 

Children growing up in Xanth learn to protect themselves against a variety of threats and monsters which are set to catch the unwary and destroy them.

 

Dragons are one of the most fearsome species that live in the untamed wilderness that covers most of Xanth. Besides the breed recognized as the Gap Dragons, there are many other varieties. In Xanth, there are land-bound and water-bound dragons as well as those which can fly and those that tunnel. Sea serpents are related to dragons. The ouroboros is a water-dragon, half white, half black, which seeks to drown its prey as it twists around and

around with its tail in its mouth. Most dragons have a breath weapon as well as their own armament of sharp teeth and iron claws. Dragons spit smoke and steam as well as the traditional burst of fire.

 

 In fact, the dragons of the earth, air and sea fall into three substantial categories: steamers, smokers, and fire-breathers. The Gap Dragon is the best known example of the steamer; his weapon is invisible steam which turns visible as it encounters the cooler air, making water droplets form. If you want to know how hot that feels, put your finger in the invisible section of steam just beyond the spout of a hot tea kettle: it's about ten times as bad as that. Thus the Gap Dragon doesn't eat raw meat, he eats steamed meat and, if he's feeling like punishment, steamed vegetables. Steam is less impressive than fire, but it does the job, and is more controllable. You never heard of a steamer starting a fire by accident. It is also nice when the dragonlets need a steam bath.

 

Smokers are effective, too. It is not generally known, but more creatures are killed by smoke than by fire. In fact, smoke inhalation is so effective that it even works in Mundania, where it has a similar ratio of kills. Smoke also blinds the prey and makes it lose its way. The dragon has merely to cock an ear, and it can locate the fleeing prey within the cloud of smoke by the sounds of gasping and stumbling. Then one quick nip does it: smoked meat. In a pinch, a cottage cheese can be smoked; smoked cheese is said to have a special flavor. But sometimes the cloud of smoke is so thick that the dragon chomps on the wrong item, getting maybe the pot instead of the cook. Only a stupid dragon smokes pot.

 

Fire-breathers are the most illustrious and feared of dragons. Actually, they vary widely; some have only a little jet of fire the size of a human finger, while others have a jet that extends as far before as their tails do behind. But fire is high-calorie stuff, requiring a lot of energy, so dragons must be cautious about wasting it. As a general rule, if a dragon misses its prey with three blasts, it will have to retire to regenerate its heat, because the following blasts will have diminishing effect. There is also the matter of pride: it is considered bad form

to miss even once.

 

However, despite these limitations, it remains true that a good many more men are eaten by dragons than vice versa. Only a fool or an ogre (same thing) would tangle voluntarily with a dragon.

 

Dragons are good hunters. They are patient, and can outwait most prey. Some can move very quickly, especially the ones that can fly, but others have to stalk their prey and wait at the holes for it to emerge. Dragons prefer to nest on jewels, especially diamonds, which hone their scales to their brightest and sharpest best. Most dragons are built on long, low lines, with overlapping metal scales on their hides. They are very flexible, very smart, and have an excellent sense of smell. Their spiked tails, which they can use like whips, are dangerous weapons, too. They like the taste of roasted man, though almost any nonpoisonous meat will do. Dragons are very hard to kill or even to hurt. The best way to kill one is to shoot arrows or explosive things down its throat, or slice between its scales with a sword or spear. A dragon's ear twitches when its possessor should listen, and hears things of importance and relevance, so it will nearly always detect pursuit. Should a hunter manage to kill a dragon, or just to cut off one of its ears, he has obtained a useful magic item that can help to protect him. Of course, if he is capable of killing a dragon, he needs very little help from anyone.

 

Wiggles are part of the greater family of voles, which also includes squiggles, which are ten times the size of a wiggle, and diggles, which are ten times the size of a squiggle. It is the immature wiggle which swarms and causes all the damage, but the majority of swarms never find their way to the surface of Xanth.

 

Wiggle larvae are tiny spiral worms less than a finger-length long that drill holes in anything. They zap outward in straight lines from their hatching

Wiggles

 

place. By following the path of a wiggle, one can catch it in its still phase and kill it. They move, then hover for perhaps a minute, then move again with a zzapp! noise. It is when they

are hovering that they are most difficult to find. Unless every wiggle in a swarm is killed, they can breed again and replenish their numbers. If someone stands in the path of a wiggle,

 

 

the worm will hole right through them. Wiggle larvae can be killed by crushing them with

anything hard, chewing them (although they taste terrible), slamming them between rocks,

or turning them to stone.

 

A female wiggle will mate only once and is sterile thereafter. A male will attempt only once to find a mate. If he is rebuffed by the female of his choice, he will smell of his failure, and can never try again. Voles mate for life.

 

 

Because of this high selectivity, a wiggle-brood has to be large for the species to survive. There are roughly two swarms a year, most of them underground. Wiggles are governed mostly by instinct. The females go through color changes when they are ready to mate. A sure sign that a female is ready is that her eyes turn red.

 

 

The members of the vole family eat rock. They are highly selective about finding just exactly the kind of rock they like. When a swarm princess is preparing to lay her eggs, she will find a vein of her favorite kind of rock, and eat nearly all of it to give her strength toward the upcoming effort of producing her swarm. It is only once in a while that a princess will find she has a taste for air-flavored stone, which can be found only on the surface.

A wiggle female constructs a special nest made of mud, bones, stones, sticks, sand and other "crud." She crawls into this boxlike contraption, pulls the lid down over her and lays the eggs. When she is through, she has an hour to get clear before they begin to hatch, for the larvae pay no attention to what they hole in their search for the right kinds of rock Swarm taste is different from growth taste, so the larvae which hatch must move quickly to find the kind of rock on which they like to feed before they starve to death. Only a few of them will survive. Once they find the kind of rock they like, wiggles become harmless. They settle down to mature, and grow into normal vole shape. Containment spells had been used in the past to keep a swarm from becoming dangerous on the surface, but the practice was not widespread, since most wiggles do not prefer air-flavored stone, so their swarms are confined to veins of rock below ground (see also Voles).

 

Tangle trees have normal trunks, but their branches resemble sheaves of hanging green switches or vines. When prey comes within reach of the nice clean lawn that a tangler maintains around its roots, the vines come to life and snatch up the unsuspecting creature, bearing it to the thorny maw in the heart of the trunk. The maw closes over the delectable morsel, and the tree's digestive juices go to work.

 

In the early history of Xanth, tanglers were cruder, more Mundane-looking trees with mosslike vines hanging from their branches. Their sly, predatory magic evolved over the centuries. They are tough, mean characters. Few creatures dare tangle with them. But every so often, an ogre is stupid enough to do it, and then there is a glorious fight.

 

Nooseloops are a relative of the tangle tree. Its branches are narrower than the tangler's. They are actually constricting vines that strangle prey that is then consumed within the trunk. Even the tiny twigs are flexible enough to wind tightly around fingers. The difference between a tangle tree and a nooseloop is that a tangler likes its prey alive and kicking. The nooseloop prefers it dead.

 

Nickelpedes are nasty little monsters with five hundred legs and one pair of deadly sharp pincers that can magically gouge out a disk of flesh called a nickel. They clamp onto a victim and tear out pieces of flesh until their voracious appetites are satisfied. Dimepedes gouge out bits of flesh smaller than nickels, but they hurt twice as much. These monsters are afraid of sunlight, and congregate in dim and shadowy places. A swarm of them can take down a centaur or any other powerful creature, given time and opportunity. It is a terrible fate to be caught among a swarm of these creatures, and be nickeled and dimed to death. Quarterpedes are five times as deadly as nickelpedes, because they can gouge out two bits at a time.

 

Dollarpedes, on the other hand, are an endangered species, kept by Good Magician Humfrey in Pandora's Box. Dollarpedes are made of paper that is dull green on one side and grey on the other. They are not dangerous because they haven't got solid metal backbones. Some of them have enough silver in their flexible spines so the stronger corrugations support each pair of legs enough to move its own weight. This branch of the nickelpede family has been losing strength for decades. Although they are one hundred times the size of centipedes, they're devalued by everything they encounter. Dollarpedes feed on Interest and Principal and Assets, Liabilities and Budgets.

 

Eclipses: When the moon and the sun collide, it can send huge chunks of flaming green cheese hurtling toward the earth. If one is unlucky enough to be underneath it when the cheese falls to earth, an eclipse is dangerous, but otherwise it is a happy occasion. The cheese is delicious. The best cheese comes from the sky, but it spoils quickly.

 

The basilisk or cockatrice is a small lizard hatched from a yolkless egg laid by a rooster and hatched by a toad in the warmth of a dungheap. It has the head and feet of a chicken and a gaze that can turn any living creature to stone. Its breath is so bad it wilts vegetation and causes stone to crumble. This little monster is all but helpless because of its flabby physique, but to kill it, the

Nickelpede

 

hunter has to avoid having it look at him while he is sneaking up. There is little difference between basilisks and cockatrices. They are sterile, so there are never very many of them at a time. However, there are a surprising number of cock-, hen-, and chickatrices in the Land of the Basks; the stork must have forgotten about their sterility.

 

A shade is a half-real spirit, ghost or one of the restless dead. Their threat is subtle, because they can't move from the place where they died, unless someone goes to sleep near where their spirits are anchored. In an uninterrupted hour, a shade can infiltrate and inhabit a living person's body. However, it is easy to escape from a shade. One can always get up and move away.

 

Curse Fiends are humans that live in Gateway Castle at the bottom of Lake Ogre-Chobee in the Region of Madness. Like the lady who became Crunch's wife, they are actors who are always in search of audiences to watch their plays. Their curses are the result of group effort, a joining of all the Curse Fiends' magic.

Eclipse

 

 

 

 

THE BESTIARY

OF XANTH

his beastiary (sic) shows the true beastliness of Xanth. Most of the creatures make perfect sense, but for some reason critics in Mundania believe that they are egregious puns. Of course they are; what's your point, critics? It isn't as though the beastly cri-tic was neglected; it is duly listed here with the other monsters. Actually, a number of Mundane readers have discovered beasts on their own, and written in about them, and they have been listed here. Xanth is a constant process of discovery.

 

But if we have to get technical, the fact is that the novels of Xanth are not just funny stories. Xanth is a consistent framework (those who claim otherwise may have misunderstood the nature of its inconsistency) with its own rules, which are subject to change without notice. Those who claim that the novels are poorly written or poorly plotted or without substance are in error; such claims are suspect until some documentary evidence is produced. One reviewer called out Dor's essay on Xanth as bad because it was impossible to tell by Cherie's pronunciation how the words were spelled. The point was that in this land of

magic, spelling can indeed be heard; the reviewer had missed the humor, or perhaps didn't like humor much anyway. Each novel is a well-structured adventure, and most are also romances, in addition to the humor. One reader wrote to complain that Xanth was making her laugh out loud in her physics class. Well, that may be a problem—but why was she diverting her attention with a

college class while she was supposed to be giving it all to Xanth? Each Xanth novel is one person's favorite and another person's "Sorry, not up to snuff." Tastes vary, and those who don't like humor are free not to read this stuff.

 

At one time even the editor became infected with a dislike of punnish things. There were a slew of them in the first chapter of X8, Crewel Lye, so he chopped it out, and the novel was published beginning with Chapter 2. This is the problem with listening to critics: it leads to amputation. However, you may read the chapter; it is in the appendix of this volume. But that was not the beginning or the end of the trench warfare with this series. Back in the first novel the editor cut a reference to skeletons in closets: Millie the Ghost must have a pretty one. So in the next novel that pun was so fully developed that it could not be denied, and Millie became a full character, and later even the skeletons of the gourd became characters. The humor of Xanth does not like to be denied.

 

But there is a serious aspect too. A number of readers, or their parents or teachers, have written to say that Xanth is responsible for their learning to read. They had thought that all books were dull, but discovered that Xanth books were fun, and that provided the motivation needed. Even some adult illiterates learn to become literate on Xanth. Since the ability to read may be the single most important skill for our culture, this is significant.

 

One young man wrote in to say that he used Xanth to distract him from the discomfort of his chemotherapy treatments. A young woman who had been  violently raped found solace in Ogre, Ogre, which addresses this subject. Another read Xanth while recovering from brain surgery. It seems that Xanth has a potency of diversion for young folk that others don't appreciate. But if that's the way it works, great! Why zonk out your mind with painkillers or drugs when Xanth will do it instead?

 

So maybe Xanth isn't great literature. But it does divert folks, and sometimes it helps them cope with the Mundane world, and there can be no shame in that. The fact that it is full of punnish creatures doesn't mean that it is without merit. It is said that man does not live by bread alone, and part of the rest of what he does live by is humor. Enjoy the beasts; they are there for your laughter.

 

allegory: A green reptile with a long snout filled with teeth; speaks in metaphors.

 

alligator clip: Strong-jawed hazard secured by a chain to its root.

 

angelfish: Very nice fish with gauzy wings which allow it to hover and a halo over its head. It dances when it is happy. Devilfish like to pursue angelfish and do something censored to them.

 

angle worm: A worm which turns corners at perfect angles instead of curving around them as an earthworm does.

 

ant-lions: Small beasts with the body of ants and the maned heads of lions. They run in prides, and fiercely roar at any threat. They are powerful fighters, and make good use of their sharp-pointed legs

as well as their strong jaws and the stingers at the end of their sharp abdomens.

 

argus: Land-walking fish with four stout legs that end in flippers, the tusked head of a boar, and three eyes set along its torso in a chevron.

 

assassin bug: Insect which kills other insects by contract only.

 

B's: A genus of flying insects, each with its own specialty. There are spelling b's, counting b's, sewing b's, quilting b's. Bumble B makes one clumsy. B's come from a Bhave, such as b-hold, b-lieve, b-neath, bfore, b-hind, b-seech, b-side, b-stir, b-foul, b-devil, b-reave, b-siege, b-set, b-tween,

b-wilder, b-wails, and a Queen B, have various effects on the people they sting. They live in a huge have shaped like a lady's bonnet. Worker b's of no special talent repair the inside of the have. Queen B-nign is the ruler of the Bonnet Have. She defeated B's One through Twenty to become the sole

Princess of the Have in which she was born.

 

barbarians: Mundane or primitive men who live by a strict code of conduct requiring excellent coordination with weapons, awkwardness with women, common sense, and faithfulness in completing missions. They have a handbook giving advice on behavior.

 

baseball bat: Long, thin leathery mammal with wings.

 

battering ram: Small curly-horned, curlypelted sheeplike creature who charges straight toward any obstacle with the object of crashing through it. Related to the hydraulic ram, which is stronger.

 

bear witness: A powerfully constructed quadruped with stubby claws and a protruding muzzle, but no hair on its body. It tells only the truth.

 

bedbugs: Some sleep in nests that look like comfortable beds. Some bedbugs are shaped like a bed, with four little rollers for feet, springs and fat pillows.

 

behemoths: Winged creatures so large they can carry whole groups of travelers on their backs. Another sort of behemoth which is mostly mouth acts as the entrance to Gateway Castle.

 

blister beetle: Its sting raises painful bumps on skin.

 

blue bottle flies: These insects have blue bottles for bodies. Humfrey uses the bigger bottles for storing some of his spells and demons.

 

bogey: Orange monster engendered by the bog. Bogeys live in a well-organized, almost military, camp run by a colonel. They are assiduously polite.

 

bonnacon: A huge, dragonish creature with the horns of a bison, metalbone eyelids, and thick armor on its body. It is more terrible to chase than to confront, for it blasts excrement from its nether portions into the faces of its pursuers.

 

brown thrasher: Contentious bird that thrashes things.

 

bugbear: This monster has multiple bug legs and feelers, a horrible bug face, and a huge shaggy bear body.

 

bullhorn: Creature that threatens to ram its horn into the posterior of anyone in its way.

 

bull seal: Cephalopod with a spread of sharp horns on its forehead.

 

bum steer: Four-footed creature with hooves and horns that gives false information and begs for smokes from passersby.

 

butterfly: Messy insect that oozes butter.

 

cactus-cat: A feline half the size of a man, with a normal cat face, but its striped green and brown coat is composed of needles instead of fur. The thorns on its ears are large and stiff, and on the front legs are

slicing blades of bone. Its personality is just like that of the average cat.

 

carnivorous rabbits: Harmless-looking bunnies that eat meat.

 

catoblepas: A hideous monster with snakelike hair and cloven hooves. Its body is covered in scales. Its gaze is fatal, but it holds its head so low that its eyes can seldom be seen.

 

cat o' nine tails: Except for its rear adornments, this beast looks like a Mundane cat. It will slash fiercely at attackers, but is really fairly timid.

 

centycore: A beast with horse's hooves, lion's legs, elephantine ears, bear's muzzle, a monstrous mouth, and a branching tenpoint antler that protrudes from the middle of its face. The centycore has no mercy.

 

chameleon: Small, harmless lizard that can assume the shape of any dangerous creature of approximately its own size, though it will not have any of its defensive or offensive capabilities.

 

chimera: A heraldic fire-breathing beast with a lion head on its shoulders, a goat head on its back, and a snake for its tail.

 

chipmunk: Natural animal which can conjure tiny bits of food away from hazards and traps.

 

chobee: Reptile with a long snout with wide nostrils. Its skin is green and corrugated, and it has short fat legs. Its teeth are gleaming white but soft as pillows.Occasionally one will have real teeth, but there is no way to tell the good chobees from the bad in time.

 

choke bees: Related to the sneeze bees; a cloud of them makes you choke.

 

clouds: In Xanth, storm clouds are shaped like dishes full of water, which they sprinkle out when they decide it is time to rain. Most of the clouds are friendly and good-natured; King Cumulo Fracto Nimbus is a notable exception to the rule.

 

cockfish: This perky fish crows when the sun's reflection hits its pool.

 

cockroaches: Insects which crow like roosters.

 

copperhead: Gleaming metal-headed snake with impressive fangs.

 

copy cat: This feline copies everything one does, but also makes very good copies of manuscripts by sitting on them and extruding the printout from its mouth.

 

cowboys: Harmless humanoids with the horned heads of bulls, who graze on rockmoss in the gnome-mines. They do not wear clothing, but are fairly furry all over. Music soothes their savage breasts. The cowboys are basically shy and peaceful, but the males are protective and stand their ground to defend their families. The Minotaur is a hero who set out to Mundania to seek his fortune in ages past.

 

crane: Long thin-legged bird as tall as a tree, cranks its head up and down in slow, measured stages to move heavy burdens from one level to another. They practice rocky-tree, hoisting rocks into the trees.

 

cri-tic. Loathsome bloodsucking bug of Mundania.

 

cuttlefish: A white fish with knifelike tentacles that can slash through flesh right to the bone.

 

cyclops: The fabled Cyclopses are three brothers named Steropes, Brontes, and Arges, sons of Mother Earth and Father Sky. Once they forged thunderbolts for sky, but were deprived of their powers and their

job when the sky became jealous of them and drove them away. They remained hidden for ages in caves until they were reunited by Ivy.

 

deadpan: These creatures have the ugliest faces in Xanth. They live near cooking fires.

 

deerfly: Delicately furred, four-legged fly the size of a Mundane deer, with antlers and big, soulful, brown eyes.

 

devilfish: Reddish-colored horned fish that likes to spoil everything for the other fish. It can walk on the surface of the water, using its curving, barbed tail for balance. Its favorite pastime is to chase down an angelfish and do something censored to her.

 

double-headed eagle: A fierce golden monster. To judge by the coats of arms of many royal houses, several of these were observed in the Mundane world.

 

dragonflies: Miniature insectoid dragons which prey on bugs and associate with dragons. Occasionally, they adopt a human's garden and keep it free of pests. They breathe fire, and explode in flames when they crash.

 

dragon horse: A rare creature that has the front of a horse, and the back of a dragon.

 

drake: Hissing, small, ornate fire-breathing dragon with large, streamlined wings. It is very fierce and highly intelligent.

 

dung beetles: These beetles magic the contents of chamber pots into sweetsmelling violets and roses.

 

eclectic eel: It chooses bits and pieces others have made. It does nothing original, but thinks that it is very sophisticated.

 

fast overland snail: A gastropod that can move faster than most birds can fly. Used to transport messages from one end of Xanth to the other.

 

feather-winged beetle: This insect has wings made of a single feather each.

 

fetch: Apparition that shows the dead image of a living person. It was once considered to be death to see the fetch.

 

firedog: Shaped like a Mundane dog, but its sides radiate volcanic heat, and it can breathe fire.

 

firefly: Flying insect with a flaming tail that can set a forest alight if it is careless. Home cooking-fires can be ignited with the help of a trained firefly.

 

fireman: Like the firedog, a fireman radiates heat. He can burn down a tree by embracing it.

 

flatfeet: Mundane demons who patrol the roads.

 

flying fish: Swift flier propelled by a jet of bubbles coming out its fuselage. Its rigid wings provide sufficient lift, the gills are its air intakes, and the little fins along its sides and belly act as stabilizers.

 

flying sheep: Winged ovines mentioned in the gourd poem:

Roes are red,

Violents are blue,

Sugar sand's sweet

And soar ewe.

 

flying snakes: Mean, unreasonable serpents with wings. Some are poisonous.

 

friers: Hens that lay fried eggs.

 

frisbees: Disk-shaped, striped insects that drink nectar and make honey. They spin from flower to flower.

 

gargoyles: Hideous-faced stone creatures which are frequently used as doors to castles and other magic dwellings, because they can extend their mouths almost infinitely, swallowing up visitors, who find themselves inside the building.

 

Gerrymander: A shape-changing creature that has the power of surround, select, and conquer. It seeks to trap prey by weakening their power base. In order to defeat Gerrymander, it must be passed, by whatever means possible. Mundane versions exist, with similar traits.

 

ghastly: Shapeless, slimy creatures like squashed caterpillars with tentacles and many legs. They bite, belch obscenely, and expectorate purple venom. They are very hard to kill, since they can't be  squashed or torn apart.

 

glow-worms: Pale green worms with luminous skin.

 

gold bug: Similar to the midas fly. It is made of solid gold, and it plates with gold anything it touches.

 

goldfish: Very pretty fish entirely formed from gold. Not of much value out of the water.

 

gremlins: Whenever possible, these creatures occupy machinery and make it go wrong. Many gremlins worked for Magician Murphy in the Fifth Wave. Others occupy works of technology in the Demon City.

 

griffins: Handsome creatures descended from the union of an eagle and a lion. The forepart of a griffin is the head, wings, and feet of the eagle, and the rear is the powerful haunches, claws, and tail of the lion. While their clipped eagle tongues do not allow them to speak the human language, the griffin is nevertheless accepted as an intelligent being.

 

groupie: A fattish fish with large, soft extremities; if one lets it, a groupie can siphon one's soul out with a seeming kiss.

 

hal-bird: An extraordinarily thin bird with a body like a pole and a huge, narrow, axebeaked head.

 

hedge hog: Mobile brown hedge that is very timid about being chomped.

 

hephalumphs: Colorful pachyderms that like honey.

 

holey cow: A quadruped larger than a basilisk, smaller than a sphinx. It is full of holes, including a hole in the head where the brain should be. As a consequence, it is very stupid, but willing to act as a steed.

 

hoopworms: When frightened, these long, skinny worms coil themselves up, make a noise like a hoop, and roll away.

 

hoorah bird: Large cheerful bird with colorful but tasteless plumage whose nest is untidy and crowded with debris and collectable bric-a-brac.

 

hornworm: A trapper that hides in the ground with only its four horns showing like the points of a coronet. If anything disturbs it, it attacks with its corrosive poison which can shatter stone.

 

horsefly: An insect the size and shape of a horse with fully fledged pinions.

 

houseflies: These live in tiny houses that they create by magic or have built by sawflies and carpenter ants.

 

hummers: Unknown flying menace that hums incessantly. It breeds in still, stagnant water. The population of hummers increases the more moist ground is exposed to the air. The sound of hummers drives demons crazy before it even becomes audible to humans, who also find it annoying. They are even worse in Mundania, where demons have meddled with wetlands.

 

hydra: Multiheaded serpent that draws its strength from water. If one head is torn away or cut off, two more grow in its place. It can be killed with reverse wood.

 

hypotenuse: Enormously fat animal with a mouth that opens into a triangle.

 

id: A gigantic, green jelly-skinned creature that swallows anything it likes; it has an oral fixation and is entirely hollow. It is very selfish, complains a lot, destroys carelessly. The id likes to have everything its own way.

 

imps: Little monsters halfway between goblins and golems, some with a combination of all their bad traits. Some imps are more like fairies or elves, crafting tiny magical items.

 

J's: These cheery, crested birds come in many colors. There are blue-J's, green-J's, and red-J's in the vicinity of Castle Roogna.

 

jack in the box: A small serpent with skin like cloth. Some of them can grow to be quite huge. They like to tell rotten old jokes and laugh at themselves.

 

je-june bugs: Dull and uninteresting insects.

 

jump-at-a-body: A small monster that is all hair, legs and glower. It is harmless. All it does is jump out, scare folk, and run away. It emigrated from Mundania when people there stopped believing in it.

 

kingfisher: Bird which fishes for kings among the fish.

 

 

kitty-hawk: Has hawk wings, feathered tail, but its head and legs are feline. When its magic is enhanced, it might chase itself to death.

 

lamia: A human-headed quadruped with hoofs, a horse's tail, and cat forelegs.

 

lantern fish: Brightly glowing fish with goggling eyes.

 

lightning bugs: These insects use miniature lightning bolts to stun their prey.

 

loan sharks: These look like big fish with flukes and fins and sharp teeth, but they are always looking for prey they can pull in too deep. Loan sharks never help one another. When one is in trouble, the others pull it apart.

 

the loin: A mysterious force with a good p.r. promoter that puts up signs attesting to its prowess in the jungle. The leader of the pride of loins is Sir Loin Stake.

 

love bug: Glowing, brightly colored insect.

 

lutin: Malign shape-changer with a bad temper.

 

magic-sniffer: A knee-high quadruped with a long flexible snout like that of a tapir. They react in a friendly way to the presence of magic, snootling in a flutelike voice, and are indifferent where it is absent. They can

sense spell intensity. Since they subsist on magic berries, they are considered infallible in judging if something is magical or not.

 

 

manshark: Half-man, half-fish with huge toothy jaws that has a giant appetite and two arms to feed it.

 

midas fly: It turns anything it touches into gold.

 

milksnakes: These serpents give milk in bottles.

 

mimic-dog: An animal that can mimic whatever it sees and hears. It is not intelligent enough to perform original actions.

 

monkeyshines: Agile, little, brown animals that gleam with their own light.